33. Transmission of Life: Responsible Parenthood
37. Meaning of Responsible Parenthood
When a man and a woman freely choose to marry, they choose, at the same time, the possibility of procreation, and choose to participate in creation (for that is the proper meaning of the word procreation). Only then, within the framework of marriage, do they put their sexual relationship on a truly personal level. The simple natural fact of becoming a father or a mother has a deep significance, not merely a biological, but also a person-affirming significance. Inevitably, it has profound effects upon the “interior” of the person, which are summarized in the concept of parenthood.
The concept of “responsible parenthood” appeared for the first time in Gaudium et Spes. Later, Paul VI explained it in depth in the Humanae Vitae.1 Responsible parenthood is an attitude toward parenthood—not separated from the practice of virtue—that encompasses God’s plan for marriage and the family. It also involves the recognition of duties of the spouses toward themselves, the family, and society, while, at the same time, recognizing that they are not free to proceed completely at will, as if they could determine in a wholly autonomous manner the honest path to follow. It is the same as family planning. The idea of family planning, however, often has some negative connotations for life and the family, and the Church, therefore, prefers the expression responsible parenthood.
Responsible parenthood is a manifestation of genuine respect for life; it requires the exercise of a deep love and the virtue of continence. The concept of responsible parenthood does not mean limited parenthood, or “not having children,” because if there are no children, there is no parenthood. Moreover, if one wants to avoid the responsibilities of one’s acts, he cannot be called responsible. Couples have a mission of responsible parenthood; this is a requirement of their conjugal love. This mission involves two things:
i) The knowledge and respect of their biological functions
ii) The necessary dominion that reason and will must exercise over these functions2
A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality.3
When it is question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, it is not enough to take only the good intention and the evaluation of motives into account; the objective criteria must be used, criteria drawn from the nature of the human person and human action, criteria which respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; all this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is seriously practiced.4
37a) How Responsible Parenthood is Exercised
The conjugal duty is part of married people’s vocation to holiness: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). The marital act can be offered to God and be a means of sanctification. These acts foster mutual love and devotion:
The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable, the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.5
Marriage and love are, by nature, ordained to the procreation and education of the children.6 The sexual act, properly exercised within marriage only, is ordained primarily to the propagation of life. But it is known that not all marital acts result in new life because there are fertile and infertile periods within the female sexual cycle. The Magisterium therefore teaches: “Responsible parenthood is exercised either by the mature and generous decision to raise a large family, or by the decision, made for grave motives and with respect for the moral law, to avoid a new birth for the time being, or even for an indeterminate period.”7
The so-called problem of “regulation of birth” or “birth control” is thereby presented. To form a correct judgment, the spouses need to evaluate the circumstances, but moreover, they must cultivate the proper internal dispositions and consider:
· the greatness of the gift of life,
· the joy of raising up new human lives,
· the goodness and generosity of the divine plan,
· the need to love the cross,
· the humility that helps one recognize and drive out selfishness,
· the practice of chastity,
· the need to frequent the sacraments.8
37b) The Decision to Raise a Large Family
Christian couples are called to be heroic. The witness of authentic faith that God asks of those to whom he gives the vocation to matrimony is that they have as many children as they can. Responsible parenthood means having more children if God sends them. Without a supernatural outlook, it is difficult to grasp this concept. “The husband and wife must recognize fully their own duties towards God, towards themselves, towards the family, towards society, in a correct hierarchy of values.”9 Apostolate in this area starts with helping couples to improve their interior life.
Does this mean that every couple has to keep on having children? No. Each couple has to see before God how many children he wants them to have and be open to his will. “They must conform their activity to the creative intention of God. In the task of transmitting life, therefore, they are not free to proceed completely at will.”10 They have to bear in mind that God has brought them together for the purpose of having children. On the other hand, infertile couples can find, in their infertility, manifestations of the will of God for them and can dedicate themselves to other aspects of the apostolate of the family.
37c) Grave Reasons to Avoid a New Birth
If, alternatively, the couple decides that they should avoid a new birth for the time being, they must have grave reasons for choosing so. Ultimately, the discernment of the existence of a grave reason remains the responsibility of the couple. They should keep in mind that, one day, they will have to render an account before God of the children they did or did not have. Graver reasons are required for having no more children than for not having any for the next six months. Rather than say clearly what constitutes a grave reason (the Church herself does not specify but leaves it up to couples), it is easier to say what may not necessarily constitute a grave reason. A loan that has to be paid on the house, the desire to get a second car or have a vacation do not constitute grave reasons. The matter has to be weighed with a Christian conscience, bearing in mind the main purpose of marriage. A mother of four with a serious heart problem could be considered to have a grave reason for postponing or avoiding completely a new birth.
The couple should decide on this after forming their conscience well by getting sound advice from a priest who is faithful to the doctrine of the Church.
37d) Respect for the Moral Law
Responsible parenthood is linked to the real good of human persons and to what corresponds to the true dignity of the person. Thus, every choice must conform to objective moral law. The moral order is not something that harms man. On the contrary, it places itself at the service of the person’s full humanity, guiding every creature toward its happiness. However, man must not forget that, without the cross, he cannot reach the Resurrection. Responsible parenthood is connected with a continual effort and commitment, and it is put into effect by self-denial. Self-denial needs to be sustained by an intense spirituality. Prayer, penance, and the Eucharist are the principal sources of spirituality for married couples.11
According to Christian moral teaching, there are illicit and licit methods of regulating birth.12 The artificial methods are illicit; in them, the spouses act as arbiters of the divine plan, and they manipulate and degrade human sexuality. The natural methods are licit.13
It is licit to have marital relations at a time when conception cannot take place.14
38. The Judgment of Conscience of the Spouses
All spouses are called to live the fullness of the divine law, and to it they must be led. Humanae Vitae insists that the spouses make a judgment—not arbitrarily but as ministers of God’s will—whether to have many children or to postpone for a time, or even indefinitely, a new birth.
Responsible parenthood also and above all implies a more profound relationship to the objective moral order, of which a right conscience is the faithful interpreter.15
Responsible parenthood is linked to moral maturity. To make a correct judgment, couples need to form their conscience well, and seek good advice. They need to be wary of the fact that conscience, if not well-formed, can tell us only what we want to hear. We are free to follow only our well-formed conscience.
Sincerity of conscience can also make a strong case, but no matter how strongly we “feel” or think something to be morally right (subjectively), our feelings, thoughts, or beliefs do not guarantee that our actions are objectively in conformity with the moral law.
Unfortunately, some of the most erroneous and damaging exercises in responsible parenthood have been carried out under the banner of “following one’s conscience.”
In giving advice, pastors and counselors are enjoined to help the faithful avoid anxiety and the deformation of conscience. They should do so in unity with the moral and pastoral judgment of the Magisterium.16
The encyclical Veritatis Splendor makes reference to some of these points about conscience, freedom, and the moral law:
· Objective truth prevails over subjective judgment.
· Human freedom is meaningful only within God’s law.
· Human freedom does not create the law.
· Conscience must be based on the objective norm.
· A mature conscience searches and is guided by the objective truth.
· An erroneous conscience might not be guilty but is never a rule of morality.
· Conscience is never “independent” from truth.
· Mortal sin cannot be excluded by the “fundamental option.” It exists when a person knowingly and willingly, for whatever reason, chooses something that is gravely disordered.17
39. Demographic Regulation
Demographic regulation may be carried out in a great variety of ways: encouraging the migration of individuals to less populated areas, developing the countryside to avoid concentration of population in the city, passing laws that limit the number of residents in certain areas. Unfortunately, due to a widespread campaign, the promotion of the use of contraceptives has been considered the standard solution to such problems.
There may be demographic problems in some countries (many call these “population problems”) but the solution is not—simply—to force the reduction of population growth. The identification of the problem is not the moral issue here. The moral issue lies in the choice of solutions to the problem. The Catechism clearly states that the use of contraceptive methods is an immoral solution to such a problem. The state, therefore, cannot favor illicit methods of demographic regulation, and Catholic citizens act rightly when they oppose any pressure from the state in this respect.18
Footnotes:
1. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 32; Enc. Evangelium Vitae, 13, 88; CCC, 2368–2370.
2. Cf. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10.
3. CCC, 2368.
4. GS, 51.
5. Ibid., 49.
6. Cf. Ibid., 50.
7. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10; cf. GS, 50.
8. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 6, 14, 28, 30, 33, 34, 57ff.
9. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10.
10. Ibid.
11. Cf. Ibid., 21.
12. Cf. Ibid., 14, 15.
13. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 32.
14. Cf. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 11.
15. Cf. Ibid., 10.
16. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 31, 34.
17. Cf. John Paul II, Enc. Veritatis Splendor, 32, 35, 60, 63, 64, 70.
18. Cf. CCC, 2366, 2372, 2373, 2370.
When a man and a woman freely choose to marry, they choose, at the same time, the possibility of procreation, and choose to participate in creation (for that is the proper meaning of the word procreation). Only then, within the framework of marriage, do they put their sexual relationship on a truly personal level. The simple natural fact of becoming a father or a mother has a deep significance, not merely a biological, but also a person-affirming significance. Inevitably, it has profound effects upon the “interior” of the person, which are summarized in the concept of parenthood.
The concept of “responsible parenthood” appeared for the first time in Gaudium et Spes. Later, Paul VI explained it in depth in the Humanae Vitae.1 Responsible parenthood is an attitude toward parenthood—not separated from the practice of virtue—that encompasses God’s plan for marriage and the family. It also involves the recognition of duties of the spouses toward themselves, the family, and society, while, at the same time, recognizing that they are not free to proceed completely at will, as if they could determine in a wholly autonomous manner the honest path to follow. It is the same as family planning. The idea of family planning, however, often has some negative connotations for life and the family, and the Church, therefore, prefers the expression responsible parenthood.
Responsible parenthood is a manifestation of genuine respect for life; it requires the exercise of a deep love and the virtue of continence. The concept of responsible parenthood does not mean limited parenthood, or “not having children,” because if there are no children, there is no parenthood. Moreover, if one wants to avoid the responsibilities of one’s acts, he cannot be called responsible. Couples have a mission of responsible parenthood; this is a requirement of their conjugal love. This mission involves two things:
i) The knowledge and respect of their biological functions
ii) The necessary dominion that reason and will must exercise over these functions2
A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality.3
When it is question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, it is not enough to take only the good intention and the evaluation of motives into account; the objective criteria must be used, criteria drawn from the nature of the human person and human action, criteria which respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; all this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is seriously practiced.4
37a) How Responsible Parenthood is Exercised
The conjugal duty is part of married people’s vocation to holiness: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). The marital act can be offered to God and be a means of sanctification. These acts foster mutual love and devotion:
The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable, the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.5
Marriage and love are, by nature, ordained to the procreation and education of the children.6 The sexual act, properly exercised within marriage only, is ordained primarily to the propagation of life. But it is known that not all marital acts result in new life because there are fertile and infertile periods within the female sexual cycle. The Magisterium therefore teaches: “Responsible parenthood is exercised either by the mature and generous decision to raise a large family, or by the decision, made for grave motives and with respect for the moral law, to avoid a new birth for the time being, or even for an indeterminate period.”7
The so-called problem of “regulation of birth” or “birth control” is thereby presented. To form a correct judgment, the spouses need to evaluate the circumstances, but moreover, they must cultivate the proper internal dispositions and consider:
· the greatness of the gift of life,
· the joy of raising up new human lives,
· the goodness and generosity of the divine plan,
· the need to love the cross,
· the humility that helps one recognize and drive out selfishness,
· the practice of chastity,
· the need to frequent the sacraments.8
37b) The Decision to Raise a Large Family
Christian couples are called to be heroic. The witness of authentic faith that God asks of those to whom he gives the vocation to matrimony is that they have as many children as they can. Responsible parenthood means having more children if God sends them. Without a supernatural outlook, it is difficult to grasp this concept. “The husband and wife must recognize fully their own duties towards God, towards themselves, towards the family, towards society, in a correct hierarchy of values.”9 Apostolate in this area starts with helping couples to improve their interior life.
Does this mean that every couple has to keep on having children? No. Each couple has to see before God how many children he wants them to have and be open to his will. “They must conform their activity to the creative intention of God. In the task of transmitting life, therefore, they are not free to proceed completely at will.”10 They have to bear in mind that God has brought them together for the purpose of having children. On the other hand, infertile couples can find, in their infertility, manifestations of the will of God for them and can dedicate themselves to other aspects of the apostolate of the family.
37c) Grave Reasons to Avoid a New Birth
If, alternatively, the couple decides that they should avoid a new birth for the time being, they must have grave reasons for choosing so. Ultimately, the discernment of the existence of a grave reason remains the responsibility of the couple. They should keep in mind that, one day, they will have to render an account before God of the children they did or did not have. Graver reasons are required for having no more children than for not having any for the next six months. Rather than say clearly what constitutes a grave reason (the Church herself does not specify but leaves it up to couples), it is easier to say what may not necessarily constitute a grave reason. A loan that has to be paid on the house, the desire to get a second car or have a vacation do not constitute grave reasons. The matter has to be weighed with a Christian conscience, bearing in mind the main purpose of marriage. A mother of four with a serious heart problem could be considered to have a grave reason for postponing or avoiding completely a new birth.
The couple should decide on this after forming their conscience well by getting sound advice from a priest who is faithful to the doctrine of the Church.
37d) Respect for the Moral Law
Responsible parenthood is linked to the real good of human persons and to what corresponds to the true dignity of the person. Thus, every choice must conform to objective moral law. The moral order is not something that harms man. On the contrary, it places itself at the service of the person’s full humanity, guiding every creature toward its happiness. However, man must not forget that, without the cross, he cannot reach the Resurrection. Responsible parenthood is connected with a continual effort and commitment, and it is put into effect by self-denial. Self-denial needs to be sustained by an intense spirituality. Prayer, penance, and the Eucharist are the principal sources of spirituality for married couples.11
According to Christian moral teaching, there are illicit and licit methods of regulating birth.12 The artificial methods are illicit; in them, the spouses act as arbiters of the divine plan, and they manipulate and degrade human sexuality. The natural methods are licit.13
It is licit to have marital relations at a time when conception cannot take place.14
38. The Judgment of Conscience of the Spouses
All spouses are called to live the fullness of the divine law, and to it they must be led. Humanae Vitae insists that the spouses make a judgment—not arbitrarily but as ministers of God’s will—whether to have many children or to postpone for a time, or even indefinitely, a new birth.
Responsible parenthood also and above all implies a more profound relationship to the objective moral order, of which a right conscience is the faithful interpreter.15
Responsible parenthood is linked to moral maturity. To make a correct judgment, couples need to form their conscience well, and seek good advice. They need to be wary of the fact that conscience, if not well-formed, can tell us only what we want to hear. We are free to follow only our well-formed conscience.
Sincerity of conscience can also make a strong case, but no matter how strongly we “feel” or think something to be morally right (subjectively), our feelings, thoughts, or beliefs do not guarantee that our actions are objectively in conformity with the moral law.
Unfortunately, some of the most erroneous and damaging exercises in responsible parenthood have been carried out under the banner of “following one’s conscience.”
In giving advice, pastors and counselors are enjoined to help the faithful avoid anxiety and the deformation of conscience. They should do so in unity with the moral and pastoral judgment of the Magisterium.16
The encyclical Veritatis Splendor makes reference to some of these points about conscience, freedom, and the moral law:
· Objective truth prevails over subjective judgment.
· Human freedom is meaningful only within God’s law.
· Human freedom does not create the law.
· Conscience must be based on the objective norm.
· A mature conscience searches and is guided by the objective truth.
· An erroneous conscience might not be guilty but is never a rule of morality.
· Conscience is never “independent” from truth.
· Mortal sin cannot be excluded by the “fundamental option.” It exists when a person knowingly and willingly, for whatever reason, chooses something that is gravely disordered.17
39. Demographic Regulation
Demographic regulation may be carried out in a great variety of ways: encouraging the migration of individuals to less populated areas, developing the countryside to avoid concentration of population in the city, passing laws that limit the number of residents in certain areas. Unfortunately, due to a widespread campaign, the promotion of the use of contraceptives has been considered the standard solution to such problems.
There may be demographic problems in some countries (many call these “population problems”) but the solution is not—simply—to force the reduction of population growth. The identification of the problem is not the moral issue here. The moral issue lies in the choice of solutions to the problem. The Catechism clearly states that the use of contraceptive methods is an immoral solution to such a problem. The state, therefore, cannot favor illicit methods of demographic regulation, and Catholic citizens act rightly when they oppose any pressure from the state in this respect.18
Footnotes:
1. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 32; Enc. Evangelium Vitae, 13, 88; CCC, 2368–2370.
2. Cf. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10.
3. CCC, 2368.
4. GS, 51.
5. Ibid., 49.
6. Cf. Ibid., 50.
7. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10; cf. GS, 50.
8. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 6, 14, 28, 30, 33, 34, 57ff.
9. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 10.
10. Ibid.
11. Cf. Ibid., 21.
12. Cf. Ibid., 14, 15.
13. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 32.
14. Cf. Paul VI, Enc. Humanae Vitae, 11.
15. Cf. Ibid., 10.
16. Cf. John Paul II, Ap. Ex. Familiaris Consortio, 31, 34.
17. Cf. John Paul II, Enc. Veritatis Splendor, 32, 35, 60, 63, 64, 70.
18. Cf. CCC, 2366, 2372, 2373, 2370.