Serenity
The Way of Meekness
Serenity should always accompany patience; while patience leads us to endure the difficulties, serenity curbs our unreasonable movements of anger. Serenity brings our disturbed sensibility under the command of our reason–illumined by faith.
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Life’s internal movements are moderated by the virtue of meekness. The external movements are moderated and given goodness by the virtue of clemency. Its opposite is cruelty.
In some circumstances, we need to correct with severity. In the same manner that clemency mitigates a deserved punishment, the virtue of meekness injects a note of serenity and calmness to our actions. With the moderation of meekness–related to temperance–the light of reason and the help of grace take control over our sensible appetites.
But to be true, meekness should be settled, not in our words and gestures, but in our heart. Otherwise, it is only a matter of tactics.
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In his Sermon on the Mountain, Jesus gave the guidelines for Christian living. In the second beatitude, our Lord commended the meek with these words, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5).
The psalms had also praised the meek in very similar terms: “The meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace” (Ps 37:11). The Hebrew word for meek is ‘anawim, “the poor of God.” This word did not exactly apply to those penniless, destitute of fortune, but had a precise religious-biblical meaning.
In the Greek rendering of the Bible this concept was translated as praeis. The Greek word aptly describes the humble and serene meekness of the “poor of God.” The term “meek” (praeis) in the Old Testament implies much the same as “poor” (ptôkhoi) but lays more emphasis on manly resignation to adversity and less on the adversity itself. This virtue is manifested in their compassionate goodness, self-denial, and docility to God’s will.
The meek are told to receive in possession or inheritance “the earth.” “The earth” refers primarily to Holy Land, the Promised Land, an ideal not merely earthly and material, but really Messianic and spiritual. It is similar to inheriting the kingdom of God. Thus, the meek are promised the vision of God, or heaven.
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The virtue of meekness differs from the meekness of temperament. The virtue imposes the government of reason illumined by faith over our sensibility disturbed by anger. Thus, a serene person is not to be confused with a feeble one or a weak character; the latter is often serene with those who please him and ill-tempered with others.
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Serenity and meekness is the most visible and charming part of charity. They appear in the gaze, the smile, the bearing, the speech of a friend; they double the value of the service rendered.
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Wrath generates intense and prolonged disturbances in human life.
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Self-control and balanced judgment; careful, serene reflection; control of our nerves and imagination: All this requires effort and firmness–and perseverance. That is the price of serenity.
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Jesus, the Model of Meekness for Us to Imitate
The prophet Isaiah (Is 40:25‑31), together with the psalm (Ps 102:1‑2.8.10), invites us to contemplate the greatness of God as opposed to that weakness of our own that we know through the experience of our repeated falls into sin. And they tell us that “the Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Ps 102:8), and that those who hope in him “shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Is 40:31).
The Messiah brought a yoke and a burden to humankind. But this yoke is easy to bear because it liberates us, and the burden does not weigh us down because he himself carries the heaviest part. Our Lord never oppresses us with his instructions and commands. On the contrary, they make us freer and simplify our life. In the Gospel we hear Jesus say to us: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mt 11:28‑30). Our Lord proposes himself as a model of meekness and humility, virtues and dispositions of the heart, which always go together.
As Jesus talks to the people who follow him, “harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd” (Mt 9:36), he wins their trust through the meekness of his heart, always so welcoming and understanding.
The liturgy shows us Christ as “gentle and lowly” so that we can go to him in all simplicity, and also so that we can prepare for Christmas by trying to imitate him. Only in this way will we be able to understand what is happening at Bethlehem. Only in this way will we be able to get those around us to come with us toward the baby who is God.
Souls open wide to a heart that is gentle and lowly, like Christ’s. There, in his most lovable Heart, the crowds used to find shelter and rest; and even now they still feel strongly attracted by him and find peace in him. Our Lord has told us to learn from him. The fruitfulness of all apostolates will always be very closely bound up with this virtue of meekness.
If we look closely at Jesus we will see how patient he is with the defects of his disciples, and how unweariedly he repeats the same teaching over and over again, explaining it in detail, so that his slow‑minded and easily‑distracted friends can master his saving doctrine. He never loses patience with their obtuseness and failure to grasp his meaning. Truly, Jesus “who is our master and Lord at the same time is meek and humble of heart, acted patiently in attracting and inviting his disciples.”1
The way to cure our bad temper, impatience, and failure to be warm and understanding is to imitate Jesus in his meekness. This calm and welcoming spirit will be born and develop in us in exact proportion to our efforts to remember the constant presence of God and to think more often about our Lord’s life. “How I wish your bearing and conversation were such that, on seeing or hearing you, people would say: This man reads the life of Jesus Christ.”2 To contemplate Jesus will especially help us not to be arrogant, and not to lose our tempers when things go wrong.
We must not make the mistake of thinking that this “bad temper” of ours, which bursts out in very definite circumstances and times, depends on the character of the people around us. “The peace of our spirit does not depend on the good nature and kindness of other people. Our neighbors’ good nature and kindness are in no way subject to our control or opinion. That would be absurd. The tranquility of our heart depends on ourselves. The ability to avoid anger, with all its ridiculous effects, has to come from within ourselves and not be dependent on the nature of other people. The power to overcome the evil in our character must not depend on some perfection outside us, but on our own virtue.”3
Meekness is particularly necessary in circumstances where living with other people is very difficult. (F. Fernandez Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
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Meekness Rooted in Great Spiritual Strength
Meekness does not go with being feeble or characterless. On the contrary, it is found on great spiritual strength. The very practice of this virtue calls for continuous acts of such strength. Just as, according to the Gospel, the poor are those who are truly rich, so the meek are those who are truly strong. “Blessed are the meek because they, in this world’s warfare, are protected against the devil and against earthly persecutors. They are like glassware so well packed into straw or hay that it is not broken when it is struck. Meekness is like a strong shield, which blunts and shatters the sharp arrows of anger. The meek are like people dressed in garments of thick quilted cotton which protect them without harming anyone else.”4
Anger in all its many forms is the material on which this virtue has to work. Meekness controls and directs it, so that it is aroused only when necessary and to the extent to which it is necessary.
“Learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart.” Comparing it to the majesty of God, who has made himself a Baby in Bethlehem, we see our own life in its real proportions. And what could have seemed an enormous trial shrinks to its true insignificant size. As we contemplate the birth of Jesus, we find that our prayer comes alive, our love becomes wider and deeper, and our peace more unshakable.
Close to him, we learn to consider the various happenings of our everyday life in his presence and so give them their true value, to be silent sometimes when we would have liked to speak, to smile, to be nice to everybody, to wait for the right moment in which to correct a fault. At the same time, we are ready to leap to the defense of truth and the interests of God and of other people with as much force as may be necessary. For there is no opposition between meekness, closely connected as it is with humility, and a righteous anger against injustice. Meekness is not a shelter for cowardice.
An anger that protects the rights of other people–and most especially the sovereignty and holiness of God–is virtuous and holy. We see the virtuous anger of Jesus against the Pharisees and traders in the Temple (Jn 2:13‑17). Our Lord found the Temple turned “into a den of robbers,” a place where there was no reverence, given over to business which had nothing to do with the true worship of God. Our Lord was terribly angry, and showed it by word and deed. The evangelists have shown us few scenes as forceful as this one.
And yet, together with his virtuous anger with those who prostitute that holy place, Jesus shows us simultaneously his great compassion for the needy. “And the blind and the lame came to him in the Temple and he healed them” (Mt 21:14). (F. Fernandez Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
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The Fruits of Meekness; Its Necessity for Social Life and Apostolate
Meekness sets its face against those pointless displays of violence, which at the bottom are signs of weakness, such as impatience, irritation, bad temper, and hatred. It is opposed to all useless waste of energy in unnecessary anger, that so often originates in little things that could have been passed over in silence or with a smile, and which never has any useful results.
Those explosions of bad temper between husband and wife, that can gradually corrode true love, stem from a lack of this virtue. So does irritability, with its serious consequences for the bringing up of children. The same lack of meekness destroys our peace in prayer, because instead of talking to God we brood over our injuries. The absence of meekness leads to that bad temper in conversation which makes even the most solid arguments powerless to convince. Mastery of oneself–which is part of true meekness–is the weapon of those who are really strong; it prevents us from answering back too quickly and from speaking wounding words that afterwards we wish we had never said. Meekness knows how to wait for the right moment, and to express its judgements in a way that carries conviction.
The habitual lack of meekness is the result of pride, and produces nothing but loneliness and sterility. “Your ill‑temper, your roughness, your unfriendliness, your rigidity (not very Christian!) are the reasons why you find yourself alone, in the loneliness of someone who is selfish, embittered, eternally discontented or resentful; and they are also the reason why you are surrounded not by love but by indifference, coldness, resentment, and lack of trust.
“With your good humor, your understanding and your friendliness, with the meekness of Christ as part and parcel of your life, not only should you be happy, but you should bring happiness to everyone around you, to the people you meet on the road of your life.”5
“The meek shall inherit the earth.” First they will possess themselves, because they will not be the slaves of their impatience and bad temper; they will possess God, because their souls will always be inclined to prayer, in a continual consciousness of the presence of God; they will possess those around them, because they have the kind of hearts which win friendship and affection, indispensable for everyday social life and for all apostolate. As we pass through the world, we must spread around us the “fragrance of Christ” (2 Cor 2:15), habitual smile, good humor and happiness, love and understanding.
Let us examine ourselves on our readiness to make the sacrifices necessary to make life pleasant for other people. Let us see if we are able to give way to other people’s opinions, instead of claiming to be always right about everything, and if we know how to control our temper and disregard the frictions, which are inevitable in daily life. This is a good time for strengthening this attitude of mind. We will achieve it if we talk more often to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph; if we make a real effort every day to be more understanding with the people around us; if we never stop trying to smooth out the rough edges of our characters; if we know how to go to the Tabernacle to talk over with our Lord the subjects which are uppermost in our thoughts. (F. Fernández Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
Serenity: Seeing Things as They Are
The peace that God gives is not an absence of difficulties, but the ability to maintain problems under control.
This peace and calm, the serenity that we so much hope will be the Holy Spirit’s gift to us. It is only our being children of God that gives us such sense of security. Aware of what we are, we can say, “The Lord is my light, and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?,” and we will stay tranquil.
The serenity that God gives us is not a blindness to the realities of life, but the ability to face them with optimism, while trusting in our heavenly Father’s help.
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Rejecting evil and preserving goodness; patience deserves the name of virtue if we struggle with serenity, in spite of the difficulties. (St Augustine, Sermon on Patience).
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With ascetical struggle, that is, putting into practice, right through the day the theological virtues, which are virtues to be lived before being theorized about–faith, hope, charity.... That is the way to have serenity. Serenity: that is a layman’s way of describing one of the results of fortitude, temperance, justice, prudence; of the cardinal virtues. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, May 31, 1954)
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When I was small, like all children I used to build little forts with mud and stones and bits of wood. If anyone walked on them and knocked them down.... I was really annoyed. What a catastrophe!
I am amused now to think back on it; I can only smile at those childish catastrophes. Yet, if we look at them supernaturally, very many of the preoccupations of older people and apparently very mature people are in the same category as children’s games and childish catastrophes. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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The virtue of serenity is a rare one that teaches us to see things in their true light and evaluate them properly. With balance and common sense we get to know the real, objective value of things; with our faith we get to know the supernatural value they should attain.
Serenity is missing when we deform reality; when we turn a molehill into a mountain; when things that should not cause us worry in fact do so; each and every time we fail to take account, in our judgments, of divine Providence and the eternal truths. If we bring into our lives the Christian virtue of serenity, what will remain of all these worries, anxieties, and surprises? Nothing, or almost nothing. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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With the mere passage of time we can, almost always, look serenely at the past; but, isn’t it true that only virtue can give us a serene attitude to the present and the future?
Time, as it goes by, leaves everything in its place. Now that it’s all over, that affair or that event, which caused us so much worry, is barely a shadow, a chiaroscuro in the general canvass of our life. Well, it is about this serenity in relation to the present and the future that I want to talk to you.
We need serenity of mind, to avoid being slaves of our nerves or victims of our imagination. We need serenity of heart, if we are to avoid being eaten up by anxiety or anguish. We need serenity in the way we act, to avoid darkness and empty-headed waste of energy. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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A serene mind makes a person firm and steady, well able to direct others; a serene mind finds the right word at the right time to bring light and consolation; and it enables one to understand things properly and have a sense of perspective, to see the wood from the trees.
I think I should say it again: The virtue of serenity is a rare virtue, for many people’s lives are ruled by their nerves; many are eaten up by their imagination; and there are some who turn everything into tragedy or melodrama.
The meticulous, pernickety person sees only details, and is so insistent that he suffocates others. The theoretical type can see nothing but general questions, and he withdraws from real life. Only the serene person is able to see the whole and the parts and integrate them properly.
A rigid person is not serene, for his rigidity takes him from giving due weight to circumstance, time, and place. His lack of serenity upsets and oppresses other people.
A weak person is not serene either, because he never goes far enough; due to his weakness he harms himself and other people. He doesn’t get in other people’s way, but fails to control events. He is ineffectual; he is at the mercy of the current. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Objectivity and a capacity to be specific, analysis and synthesis, gentleness and energy, a brake and a spur, an overview and awareness of detail: All these things and many more combine to produce, in a harmonious synthesis, the Christian virtue of serenity.
But neither you nor I nor anyone can be serene unless we first fight. Everyone has passions; imagination can disturb every mind; nerves exist in everyone’s body; everyone is oversensitive in some area; ignorance, error, and exaggeration are to be found in everyone’s mind; and fear and trembling can lurk in every heart. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Serenity should be a second nature to the Christian; for his faith is a source of serenity and harmony.
This panorama of our interior life that we have been considering has as its foundation a whole range of human virtues that bring balance, realism, and common sense. The virtue of faith, the true light of the soul, rises on this whole scene as the sun over a mountain range; it gives us a view of life and its various options that is full of serenity; it shows us a broad horizon rich in details. Through this serene vision the heart is set at ease, the soul finds calm, and the mind understands–with God’s light–the meaning of many things, increasing thus the serene tranquility of your life.
Even those things we do not understand will not disturb our soul, for faith will teach us that the cause of them is always the goodness of God and his affection for man. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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We should remember that,
- Christian serenity lives hidden under the dark veil of faith;
- Christian serenity comes down on us, bringing supernatural outlook, as the dew that comes down on flowers with the first light of the morning;
- Christian serenity is expressed in the words of Jesus: “Let not your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid,” and, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world if he suffers the loss of his soul?”;
- Christian serenity fuses with those who pray as the rain soaks into the earth in springtime;
- Christian serenity puts down deep roots in those who learn to embrace and overcome sorrow through faith;
- Christian serenity settles down in those who are nourished by the Body and Blood of Christ;
- Christian serenity fills those who open themselves, sincerely and confidently, to their spiritual director;
- Christian serenity is the most delicate gift Jesus gives to those who are simple and uncomplicated. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Our Father God wants us,
- to be serene in the midst of the tests and difficulties of life–”constant in prayer, patient in tribulation, rejoicing in hope” (Rom 12:12);
- to be serene facing death and facing life: “Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Rom 14:8);
- to be serene in our everyday work, especially when it becomes hard and burdensome;
- to be serene when, due to our position, we have to give other people help and advice;
- to be serene when, at our desk, we face problems and professional decisions;
- to be serene in our sincere effort to be better: “By endurance you will gain your lives” (Lk 21:19). (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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We lack this serenity when we get annoyed with ourselves, and when we lose our peace on seeing our slow progress in the ways of the Lord. Serenity makes us understand that “no one becomes a saint all of a sudden”; and also that we will never find our Lord in noise and interior confusion, for the Lord comes in tranquility.
Therefore, if our prayer is serene in its resolutions, affections, and inspirations; it will produce better and more enduring results.
Apostolate, a great gift of God, is to give guidance, security, and serenity to souls as they make their way to God; thus, we must fill our apostolate with serenity.
And the Queen of serenity–we say it joyfully–is our heavenly Mother. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Serenity. Why lose your temper if by losing it you offend God, trouble your neighbor, give yourself a bad time ... and in the end, you have to recover your calm [usual self?] anyway? (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 8)
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What you have just said, say it in another tone, without anger, and what you say will have more force ... and above all, you won’t offend God. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 9)
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Never reprimand anyone while you still feel angry over a fault that has been committed. Wait until the next day, or even longer. Then, once you are calm and have purified your intention, be sure to make your correction.
You’ll gain more with an affectionate word than with three hours of quarrelling. Control your temper. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 10)
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You clash with the character of one person or another.... It has to be that way; you are not a dollar bill to be liked by everyone.
Besides, without those clashes which arise in dealing with your neighbors, how could you ever lose the barbs, the sharp corners, the edges–imperfections and defects of your character–and acquire the perfect shape, the smoothness, and the firm mildness of charity, of perfection?
If your character and that of those around you were soft and sweet like marshmallows, you would never become a saint. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 20)
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Don’t argue. Arguments usually bring no light because the light is smothered by emotion. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 25)
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Resentment has sharpened your tongue. Be silent! (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 654)
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Always remain silent when you feel indignation surge up within you–even when you have reason to be angry.
For in spite of your discretion, you always say more than you want to in such moments. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 656)
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“Jesus remains silent.”–Iesus autem tacebat. Why do you speak, to console yourself or to explain yourself?
Say nothing. Seek joy in contempt; you’ll always receive less contempt than you deserve. Can you, by any chance, ask, Quid enim mali feci?–What evil have I done? (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 671)
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If you have presence of God, high above the deafening storm, the sun will always be shining on your eyes; and underneath the roaring and devastating waves, peace and calm will reign in your soul. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 343)
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Don’t be confused; serenity is not laziness, carelessness, putting off decisions, or deferring the study of important matters.
Serenity is always completed with diligence, a virtue we need in order to consider and solve pending problems without delay. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 467)
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Plots, wretched misinterpretations cut to the measure of the base hearts that will listen to them, cowardly insinuations.... It is a picture that, sadly, we see over and over again, in different environments; they neither work themselves, nor let others work.
Meditate slowly on those verses of the Psalm: “My God, I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons. Because zeal for thy house has consumed me, and the insults of those who insult thee have fallen on me.” And keep on working. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 797)
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You need patience and humility, if you want to rise superior to all your enemies. (Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ, I,13,3)
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He who is angered with cause is not at fault; for if anger did not exist, laws would be valueless, courts would not exist, and crimes would go unpunished. He who is not angered, when there is cause to be so, sins; imprudent patience breeds vices, aids negligence, and invites evil doings, not only among wicked people, but also among good ones. (St Augustine, in Catena Aurea, I).
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Do not limit your patience to this or that kind of offense or problem. Extend it universally to everything that God will send you or let happen to you. Some wish to suffer no hardships except those bringing honor or prestige; they wouldn’t mind being wounded or made a prisoner in a victorious war, persecuted for religion, or impoverished by some public lawsuit which they will eventually win.
Such people do not love the cross, but the honor that goes with it. The truly patient man who really loves God endures equally hardships accompanied by shame, and those that bring prestige.
To be despised, criticized, or accused by evil men is a common deed for a courageous man; to be criticized, denounced, and treated badly by good men, by our own friends and relatives, is the test of virtue. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Be patient not only with the big part of the hardships that may come to you, but also with the natural consequences of these afflictions. Many would be ready to accept hardships provided they are not affected by the accompanying circumstances. “I wouldn’t be bothered by poverty,” one may say, “if it didn’t keep me from helping my friends, providing a high level of education to my children, or being surrounded by an aura of respectability, as I would like.” “Poverty wouldn’t bother me,” another may say, “if people didn’t think that it was my own fault.”
Now I say that we must be patient with whatever difficulties God may send us. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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When you are hit by hardship, do your best and apply whatever remedy you may have–provided it is not an offense to God; to do otherwise is to tempt God. Having done this, wait with resignation for the results it may please God to send.
If it is God’s Will that the remedy overcomes the hardship, humbly give thanks to God. If the remedy is ineffectual, bless God with patience. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Complain as little as possible about the wrongs you suffer. Undoubtedly, a person who complains commits a sin by doing so. Self-love always imagines that injuries are worse than they really are. Above all, do not share your resentment with irritable or fault-finding persons. If there is just occasion for complaining to someone, either to correct an offense, or to restore your peace of mind, do so to persons who are even-tempered and really love God. Instead of calming your spirit, the others will stir up greater distress, and instead of pulling out the thorn that is hurting you, they will drive it deeper into your foot.
The truly patient man does not complain of his hard lot or desires to be pitied by others. He speaks of his sufferings in a natural, true, and sincere way, without maligning others, complaining or exaggerating his pain. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Patience knows how to bear everything with a magnanimous heart. (Cassian, Inst., 7)
Calmness in the Face of Difficulties
We need calm in all our reactions. We are threatened by evil sadness that may come from suffering, sickness, adversity, or, most of all, from the realization of our own wretchedness. When this happens, we should be able to hear the voice of Lord telling us, “Do not let your heart be troubled, or be afraid” (Jn 14:27), and find refuge in our divine filiation.
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The Storm on the Lake
While sailing to the opposite shore of the Lake of Gennesareth, as the Lord had told them, the apostles were twice caught by a storm. St Mark (4:35-40) tells us that Jesus was with them in the boat. Our Lord was resting after a hard day’s preaching. He lay down in the stern, reclining his head on a cushion, probably a simple, coarse leather bag stuffed with rags or wool. That was the usual thing the sailors had on these boats. The angels in heaven must have been gazing upon their King and Lord as he recovered his strength, lying upon the hard deck planking. He who governs the universe was stretched out there exhausted.
Meanwhile his disciples, many of them sailors, began to feel the first squalls of the gathering storm. It soon fell on them, with tremendous force ... “and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.” They did what they could, but the seas grew higher and rougher and they were about to founder. Then as a last resort they turned to Jesus. They woke him with a cry of distress. “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?”
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God Will Never Abandon Us
The skill of those sea-hardened fishermen was not enough. Our Lord had to intervene. “And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, `Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.” Peace also entered the hearts of those frightened men.
Sometimes the storm arises around us or within us. And it seems that our frail craft cannot take any more. At times we have the impression that God is heedless of our fate. The waves are breaking over us: personal weaknesses, professional or financial difficulties that are beyond our management, illness, problems with children or parents, the menace of being denounced, a hostile environment, slander.... But “if you have presence of God, high above the deafening storm, the sun will always be shining on your eyes; and underneath the roaring and devastating waves, peace and calm will reign in your soul.”6
God will never abandon us. We must go to him, using all the means we need to employ. At all times, tell Jesus with the confidence of one who has taken him as his Master, and wants to follow him unconditionally, “Lord, do not leave me!” And together with him we will face up to those trials and surmount them. They will no longer be bitter, and we will not be dismayed by the storms that blow. (F. Fernández Carvajal, Calmness in the Face of Difficulties)
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You suffer in this present life, which is only a dream, and a short one at that. Rejoice, because your Father God loves you so much, and if you put no obstacles in his way, after this bad dream he will give you a good awakening. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 692)
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Facing Up to Misunderstandings
“Jesus awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, `Peace! Be still!’” This miracle made an unforgettable impression on the apostles. It confirmed them in their faith and prepared them for the harder, more testing battles that lay ahead. The sight of a perfectly calm sea, subject to the voice of Christ, was engraved on their hearts. Years afterwards, these men would pray, and the memory of this scene would bring peace to them as they underwent all the trials our Lord had forewarned them of.
On another occasion, on the way to Jerusalem, Jesus told them that what the prophets had foretold about the Son of Man was about to be fulfilled. “For he will be delivered to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and shamefully treated and spat upon; they will scourge him and kill him, and on the third day he will rise” (Lk 18:31-33). At the same time he warned them that they too will go through terrible times of persecution and slander. “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they malign those of his household?” (Mt 10:24). Jesus wanted to convince those first disciples–and us too–that there is no compromise possible between him and his doctrine on the one hand, and the world as a kingdom of sin on the other. He reminds them not to be surprised to be treated in this way: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (Jn 15:18). Hence, as St Gregory explains, “the hostility of the wicked is like a praise for our way of life; it shows that there is at least some rectitude in us, as long as we oppose those who do not love God. Nobody can please God and the enemies of God at the same time.”7 If we are faithful there will be winds and storms. But Jesus will say once more to the stormy sea, “Peace! Be still!”
At the very beginning of the Church the apostles gathered abundant fruits. But at the same time they suffered threats, insults, and persecution. They were not concerned whether public opinion was favorable or hostile toward them; they were concerned to make Christ known to all, to take the fruits of our Redemption to the farthest corners of the earth. They preached the doctrine of Christ, which in purely human terms constituted a scandal for some and seemed sheer madness to others. This doctrine entered all environments, transforming souls and customs.
Many circumstances have changed since the times of the apostles, but others remain as they were or have become even worse. Materialism, the excessive love of comfort and well-being, sensuality, and ignorance represent once again in many places furious winds and stormy seas. And we can add to this the temptation of many people to adapt the doctrine of Christ to the times, seriously deforming the essential message of the Gospel.
If we want to be apostles in the midst of the world, we must realize that some people–at times our husband, our wife, our parents, or an old friend–will not understand us. We will have to take heart, because it is not easy to row against the stream. We will have to work calmly and firmly. We cannot be deterred or allow ourselves to be deflected by the attitude of those who, in many ways, have compromised; those who have so identified themselves with the customs of the new paganism that they seem unable to understand the transcendent, supernatural meaning of life.
Our intimacy with God will give us serenity and strength, and we will be a firm rock for many. We can never forget that, particularly nowadays, “the Lord needs strong and courageous souls who refuse to come to terms with mediocrity, but will be able to enter all kinds of environments with a sure step....”8 We should show our Christian criteria in parent-teacher associations, in professional bodies, in the universities, in the trade unions, in informal conversation before and after a meeting.
As a specific example, the influence of families is particularly important in social and public life. Christians “should be the first to take steps to see that the laws ... not only do not transgress against, but actually support and positively defend, the rights and duties of the family”9 promoting thus a real “family politics.” To do so, it is important to know the doctrine of the Church on the family, to awaken the consciences on the social and political responsibilities of Christian families, and to establish or strengthen existing associations for the good of the family.
We cannot remain inactive while the enemies of God strive to eliminate all trace of the eternal destiny of man. (F. Fernández Carvajal, Calmness in the Face of Difficulties)
Our Attitude toward Difficulties
We should learn how to endure physical and moral hardship without complaining. Pain, illness, suffering, the greatest catastrophes, are not blind forces unloosed on the world by chance; rather, they are obedient creatures fulfilling their own part in the universe, leading to the salvation of God’s elect. Everything works for our good and the good of souls. It is enough to be in Jesus’ company to be safe. Worry, fear, and cowardice arise when our prayer weakens. Our Lord knows well enough everything that is happening to us. And if need be, he will rebuke wind and sea, and a great calm will be established; his peace will flood into us, and we will be filled with awe like the apostles. Besides, the Blessed Virgin will not leave us for an instant.
***
Anxiety, terror, that unbearable fear of something that takes hold on life and oppresses it, all disappear in those seeking sanctity. These fears give way to an attitude of mastery toward the world, of imperturbable security in the face of any event, of understanding everything because everything means something to these people. They know where it comes from and where it leads. Living close to God through grace gives a full understanding of how everything in the universe has its place in God’s plan. And this knowledge is the foundation of their serene attitude to life and everything life may bring.
Pain, illness, suffering, the greatest catastrophes, are not blind forces unloosed on the world by chance; rather, they are obedient creatures fulfilling their own part in the universe, leading to the salvation of God’s elect. (F. Suárez, Mary of Nazareth)
***
According to St Augustine, patience is the virtue that allows us to bear adversity with a serene spirit. We should prize this serenity of soul because it allows us to obtain greater goods. The Christian should learn how to endure physical and moral hardship without complaining.
Usually we are presented with many different opportunities to practice this virtue in the ordinary circumstances of everyday life. The struggle may relate to the most mundane things–a character defect that keeps resurfacing, undertakings that don’t go as we had planned, unexpected changes in schedule, the bad manners of a colleague at work, people who mean well but don’t understand, traffic jams, delays in public transportation, too many phone calls, forgetfulness.... These are all occasions for us to grow in humility and become more refined in our charity. (F. Fernández Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 5, 94)
***
“`The three concupiscences (cf. 1 Jn 2:16) are like three gigantic forces which have unleashed a tremendous frenzy of lust, of man’s conceited pride in his own strength, and of a desire for riches’.... And without being pessimistic or depressed, we can see that ... these forces have achieved an unprecedented development and a monstrous aggressiveness, to such an extent that `an entire civilization is tottering, powerless and without moral resources to fall back on.’”10
We cannot remain inactive in such a situation. “For the love of Christ compels us” (2 Cor 5:14). Charity, and the real need of so many creatures, drives us to carry out an untiring apostolic activity in all places. Each person has to work in his own environment, in spite of the hostility we will meet and the misunderstandings of people who cannot or do not want to understand.
“Walk therefore in nomine Domini–with joy and security in the name of the Lord. No pessimism! If difficulties arise, the grace of God will come more abundantly. If more difficulties appear, more of God’s grace will come down from heaven. If there are many difficulties, there will be many graces from God. Divine help is always proportionate to the obstacles with which the world and the devil oppose apostolic work. And so I would even dare to affirm that, in a way, it is good that there are difficulties, because then we will obtain more help from God. ‘Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more’ (Rom 5:20).”11
While meditating on this passage of the Gospel, we can purify our intentions, promise to be more attentive to the Master, and strengthen our faith. Our attitude must always be one of forgiveness and serenity, because God is with each of us. “Christian, Christ is sleeping in your boat,” St Augustine reminds us; “wake him, and he will rebuke the storm and peace will be restored.”12
Everything works for our good and the good of souls. It is enough to be in Jesus’ company to be safe. Worry, fear, and cowardice arise when our prayer weakens. He knows well enough everything that is happening to us. And if need be, he will rebuke wind and sea, and a great calm will be established; his peace will flood into us, and we will be filled with awe like the apostles.
The Blessed Virgin will not leave us for an instant. “If the winds of temptation arise, fix your eyes in the star, call upon Mary ... With her for a guide you will not go astray; while invoking her, you will never lose heart; so long as she is in your mind, you are safe from deception. If she holds your hand, you cannot fall; under her protection you have nothing to fear; if she walks before you, you will not get tired; if she shows you favor, you will reach the goal.”13
Patience and Inner Peace
Patience imparts a superior quality to the soul as a person perfects his interior life. Those souls who are most intimately united with God bear any trials and tribulations with joy and inner peace.
***
Christians love all men, yet all men persecute them. Condemned because they are not understood, they are put to death, but raised to life again. They live in poverty, yet enrich many. They are defamed, and in their defamation find their glory. They are slandered, and are vindicated. A blessing is their answer to abuse, deference their response to insult.
For the good they do, they receive the punishment of malefactors, but even then they rejoice, as though receiving the gift of life. They are attacked by the Jews as aliens, they are persecuted by the Greeks, yet no one can explain the reason for this hatred. (Epistle to Diognetus, circa year 124)
***
When I lived in the desert, I had a reed to write with. It always seemed to me, I remember, either too thick or too thin. I had to shape its point with a blunt knife that hardly could cut. I had to light the candle with a flint, whose spark flashed too late to satisfy my urgency to begin my writing. In those instances, I felt waves of indignation within me, leading me to proffer curses against these inanimate objects, or against Satan himself.
This experience manifests of how little value it is to isolate oneself and thus avoid the possibility of quarrels, if one has not first acquired patience. Our wrath would fall on even inanimate objects, should we lack someone on whom to rent our blows. (Cassian, Inst., 8,17)
***
Being patient means that one will not allow his serenity, objectivity, and unbiased criteria to be swept away by the wounds received while doing good. (J. Pieper, The Fundamental Truths)
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Someone avoiding evil cannot be called patient, but rather he who does not allow himself to fall into an unwarranted state of sadness by the presence of evil. (St Thomas of Aquinas, S.Th., 2-2, q136, a4 ad2)
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Patience is tolerating, with a tranquil spirit, the wrongs we encounter, never resenting those that caused them. (St Gregory the Great, Moralia, 13)
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Cassian relates that an old man in Alexandria was surrounded by the mob uttering insults against him, for being a Christian. He stood in the middle, like a lamb, suffering in silence, with great peace of heart. They mocked him and gave him blows. Among other things, they shouted at him with scorn: “What miracles has Jesus Christ performed?” He answered back: “One of his miracles is that suffering the injuries that you are doing to me, I feel no indignation or anger against you, no irritation or passion within me.”
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Serenity! Daring!
With these virtues, rout the fifth column of the lukewarm, the timid, and the treacherous. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 112)
***
You told me that God sometimes–briefly–fills you with lights and sometimes does not.
I reminded you–firmly–that the Lord is always infinitely good. Thus, those moments of light are enough for you to carry on; but those times of darkness are good for you too, to make you more faithful. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 341)
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God is with you; cast away spiritual worry and fear. Cut them off at the root and with determination, for they only breed temptations and increase danger. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 854)
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Even if everything should collapse and fail; events turn upside down causing great adversity, nothing is gained by being perturbed. Furthermore, remember the confident prayer of the prophet: “The Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; he will save us.”
Pray it with devotion every day, so that your behavior may adjust itself to the plans of Providence, which governs us for our own good. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 855)
***
As soon as you have truly abandoned yourself in the Lord, you will learn how to accept whatever comes. You will not lose serenity if your efforts–despite having drawn all your skills and used the proper means–do not achieve the desired results. Because they will have turned out as God wanted them to. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 860)
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A paradox: Ever since I decided to follow the advice of the psalm: “Cast your cares upon the Lord, and he will sustain you,” each day I have fewer worries on my mind. Then, after completing the needed tasks, everything is more easily solved. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 873)
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It is wrong to judge a person merely by his first words ... or by his last ones.
Listen with respect, with interest. Give due credit where due..., but carefully ponder your judgement in the presence of God. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 906)
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For you who have a great problem; if you approach it properly, that is, with a calm and responsible supernatural outlook, you will always find a solution. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 958)
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I understand your holy impatience, but you must also realize that some need to think things over, and that others will respond all in good time.... Wait for them with open arms. Flavor your holy impatience with abundant prayer and mortification.... They will come more youthful and generous. They will have got rid of their bourgeois approach, and they will be all the more courageous.
Think how God is waiting for them! (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 206)
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I do not deny that you are clever. But your irrational vehemence leads you to act like a fool. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 439)
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If, by fixing your sight on God, you can maintain serenity in the face of worries, forget petty things, jealousies, and envies, you will avoid the exertion of so much effort that is needed to work effectively in the service of men. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 856)
***
Holy Mary is–as the Church invokes her–the Queen of peace. So when there is turmoil in your soul, or your family, or at work, or in society, or between nations, cry out to her, unceasingly, in this way: Regina pacis, ora pro nobis–Queen of peace, pray for us. Have you, at least, tried it when you have lost your peace of mind?...–You will be surprised at its instantaneous effect. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 874)
Gentleness and Wrath
A man who is angry seems to have prevailed; but in fact, he is overcome and hurt by a grievous passion. A man who endures nobly, and remains calm got the better and conquered. His inner victory is a sign of strength.
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When the Body of our Lord was placed in the sepulcher, the Jews tried to put seals and lookouts on the Truth. But all these safeguards only made the Truth more conspicuous. And the mocking, jeering, and reviling became causes of self-shame. Such is the nature of error: it destroys the very means it uses. They that seem to have conquered are put to shame, defeated, and ruined. But He that seemed to have been defeated shone forth above all men and conquered mightily.
A man after being wronged may get angry, overreact, and conquer the wrongdoer; but this is an evil victory that brings destruction to the winner. The one who bears it with patience and self-control conquers and wins a crown. Often, to be defeated is the best mode of victory.
We should not seek that kind of victory, or shun this kind of defeat. That victory brings harm, this defeat, profit.
A man who is angry seems to have prevailed; but in fact, he is overcome and hurt by a grievous passion. A man who endures nobly, and remains calm got the better and conquered. His inner victory is a sign of strength.
By being struck, the rocks of the sea break the waves. Thus also with the saints; by their patience and endurance in the face of difficulties they won, were crowned, and conquered a glorious trophy. (St John Chrysostom, Homiliae in Matthaeum, 84)
***
In Christian parlance, the notions of “sensuality,” “passion,” “desire” are customarily–though very unjustly– understood exclusively as “anti‑spiritual sensuality,” “wicked passion,” “rebellious desire.” Such a constriction of an originally much broader meaning obscures the important fact that all these notions by no means have a merely negative sense. Rather, they represent forces from which the essence of human nature is built up and draws its life.
The same is true of the notion of wrath or anger. At the mention of anger, Christian awareness sees as a rule only the uncontrolled, the anti‑spiritual, the negative aspect. But, as with “sensuality” and “desire,” the power of wrath also belongs to the primal forces of the human. In this power of wrath, the energy of human nature is most clearly expressed. It is a force directed toward the difficulty of achieving a good or because of the difficulty of overcoming an evil. Wrath is the strength to attack the repugnant. The power of anger is actually the power of resistance in the soul.
Whoever, therefore, stigmatizes the power of wrath as something in itself anti‑spiritual and consequently to be “mortified” is committing the same error as one who similarly slights “sensuality,” “passion,” and “desire.” Both condemn the basic forces of our being, offending the Creator who, as the liturgy of the Church says, has “marvelously established the dignity of human nature.” (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
***
Concerning wrath (in the narrower sense), understood as the passionate desire for just retribution of injustice that has been suffered, St Thomas, in repudiation of the Stoics, says the following: “Because the nature of man is constructed of soul and body, of spirit and sensuality, it belongs to the good of man to devote himself utterly to virtue, namely with spirit, sensuality, and body alike. And therefore man’s virtue requires that the will for just retribution reside not only in the spiritual realm of the soul, but also in sensuality and in the body itself.” This passage is found in the great work of St. Thomas’ later life, the De Malo, in an article discussing the question “whether all wrath is evil.”
Anger is good if, in accordance with the order of reason, it is brought into service for the true goals of man. One who does good with passion is more praiseworthy than one who is “not entirely” afire for the good, even to the forces of the sensual realm. Gregory the Great says, “Reason opposes evil the more effectively when anger ministers at her side.” And what was said of the power of sexual desire, which overwhelms reason, is likewise true of the obscuring power of anger. “It is not contrary to the nature of virtue that the consideration of reason comes to a stop in the execution of that which reason has already considered. Even art would be impeded in its activity if it should wish to consider what was to be done where it was a question of immediate action.”
The surprise with which we reflect on these statements makes us aware once again how far we are from considering the whole man in our conception of the moral good. We realize how much we almost unconsciously tend to take the “purely spiritual” for actual humanity. On the other hand, the “ancients” can teach us much and make us once again embrace the full created nature of world and man, in its true reality. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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It is self‑evident that the anger which breaks all bounds and disrupts the order of reason is evil and is sin. Blind wrath, bitterness of spirit, and revengeful resentment–the three basic forms of intemperate anger–are therefore evil and contrary to order.
Blind wrath shuts the eyes of the spirit before they have been able to grasp the facts and to judge them. Bitterness and resentment, with a grim joy in negation, close their ears to the language of truth and love. They poison the heart like a festering ulcer. Also evil, of course, is all anger linked to unjust desire. This needs no further discussion.
In the upsurge of his self‑will, the intemperately angry man feels as if he were drawing his whole being together like a club ready to strike. But this is the very thing he fails to achieve. Only gentleness and mildness can accomplish it. The two are not equivalent: mildness is gentleness turned toward what is without. “Gentleness above all makes man master of himself.” Holy Scripture speaks of this virtue in much the same terms as of patience. In St Luke’s Gospel, it is said of patience that through it man possesses his soul. And of gentleness, it is said, “Possess thy soul through gentleness” (Sir 10:31).
Gentleness, however, does not signify that the original power of wrath is weakened or, worse still, “mortified,” just as chastity does not imply a weakening of sexual power. On the contrary, gentleness as a virtue presupposes the power of wrath; gentleness implies mastery of this power, not its weakening. We should not mistake the pale‑faced harmlessness which pretends to be gentleness–unfortunately often successfully–for a Christian virtue. Lack of sensuality is not chastity; and incapacity for wrath has nothing to do with gentleness. Such incapacity not only is not a virtue, but, as St Thomas expressly says, a fault: peccatum ad vitium. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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Behave kindly to all, to superiors and inferiors, to the high‑born and peasant, to relatives and strangers; but more especially to the poor and infirm, and, above all, to those who regard us with an evil eye.
Gentleness in the correction of faults is more efficacious than any other means or reasons that may be employed. Be therefore on your guard against correcting in a fit of passion; for then harshness is sure to be mingled with it, either in word or action. Beware likewise of correcting the person in fault while he is excited; for in like cases the result is exasperation instead of improvement. (A. M. de’ Liguori, The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ)
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The patient man cannot be sundered from the love of God, and does not need to calm his spirit, for he knows that all is for the best. He is never irked, and nothing moves him to anger, for he is settled in the love of God and this is his only concern. (St Clement of Alexandria, Stromata, 6)
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Just as victory attests to the soldier’s valor in battle, unbreakable patience through toil and temptation reveals a man’s holiness. (St Cyril, in Catena Aurea, 4)
Endurance and Attack
Christian endurance maintains a man steady in the struggle; patience keeps him away from the danger that his spirit may be broken by grief, and lose its greatness. This stout resistance is a kind of attack.
***
Enduring comprises a strong activity of the soul, namely, a vigorous grasping of and clinging to the good; and only from this stout-hearted activity can the strength to support the physical and spiritual suffering of injury and death be nourished. It cannot be denied that a timid Christianity, overwhelmed and frightened by the un-Christian criteria of an ideal of fortitude that is activistically heroic, has smothered this fact in the general consciousness, and misconstrued it in the sense of a vague and resentful passivism. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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Patience keeps man from the danger that his spirit may be broken by grief and lose its greatness. Patience, therefore, is not the tear-veiled mirror of a “broken” life (as one might easily assume in the face of what is frequently presented and praised under this name), but the radiant embodiment of ultimate integrity. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
Footnotes:
1 Second Vatican Council, Dignitatis Humanae, 11.
2 St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 2.
3 Cassian, Constitutions, 8.
4 F. Osuna, Third Spiritual Alphabet, III, 4.
5 S. Canals, Jesus as Friend.
6 St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 343.
7 Homilies on Ezekiel, 9.
8 St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 416.
9 Familiaris Consortio, 44.
10 A. del Portillo, Letter, Dec. 25, 1985, 4, quoting St. Josemaría Escrivá, Letter, Feb. 14, 1974, 10.
11 A. del Portillo, Letter, May 31 1987, 22.
12 Sermon 361, 7.
13 St Bernard, Homilies on the Blessed Virgin Mary, 2.
Serenity should always accompany patience; while patience leads us to endure the difficulties, serenity curbs our unreasonable movements of anger. Serenity brings our disturbed sensibility under the command of our reason–illumined by faith.
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Life’s internal movements are moderated by the virtue of meekness. The external movements are moderated and given goodness by the virtue of clemency. Its opposite is cruelty.
In some circumstances, we need to correct with severity. In the same manner that clemency mitigates a deserved punishment, the virtue of meekness injects a note of serenity and calmness to our actions. With the moderation of meekness–related to temperance–the light of reason and the help of grace take control over our sensible appetites.
But to be true, meekness should be settled, not in our words and gestures, but in our heart. Otherwise, it is only a matter of tactics.
***
In his Sermon on the Mountain, Jesus gave the guidelines for Christian living. In the second beatitude, our Lord commended the meek with these words, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5).
The psalms had also praised the meek in very similar terms: “The meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace” (Ps 37:11). The Hebrew word for meek is ‘anawim, “the poor of God.” This word did not exactly apply to those penniless, destitute of fortune, but had a precise religious-biblical meaning.
In the Greek rendering of the Bible this concept was translated as praeis. The Greek word aptly describes the humble and serene meekness of the “poor of God.” The term “meek” (praeis) in the Old Testament implies much the same as “poor” (ptôkhoi) but lays more emphasis on manly resignation to adversity and less on the adversity itself. This virtue is manifested in their compassionate goodness, self-denial, and docility to God’s will.
The meek are told to receive in possession or inheritance “the earth.” “The earth” refers primarily to Holy Land, the Promised Land, an ideal not merely earthly and material, but really Messianic and spiritual. It is similar to inheriting the kingdom of God. Thus, the meek are promised the vision of God, or heaven.
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The virtue of meekness differs from the meekness of temperament. The virtue imposes the government of reason illumined by faith over our sensibility disturbed by anger. Thus, a serene person is not to be confused with a feeble one or a weak character; the latter is often serene with those who please him and ill-tempered with others.
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Serenity and meekness is the most visible and charming part of charity. They appear in the gaze, the smile, the bearing, the speech of a friend; they double the value of the service rendered.
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Wrath generates intense and prolonged disturbances in human life.
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Self-control and balanced judgment; careful, serene reflection; control of our nerves and imagination: All this requires effort and firmness–and perseverance. That is the price of serenity.
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Jesus, the Model of Meekness for Us to Imitate
The prophet Isaiah (Is 40:25‑31), together with the psalm (Ps 102:1‑2.8.10), invites us to contemplate the greatness of God as opposed to that weakness of our own that we know through the experience of our repeated falls into sin. And they tell us that “the Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Ps 102:8), and that those who hope in him “shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Is 40:31).
The Messiah brought a yoke and a burden to humankind. But this yoke is easy to bear because it liberates us, and the burden does not weigh us down because he himself carries the heaviest part. Our Lord never oppresses us with his instructions and commands. On the contrary, they make us freer and simplify our life. In the Gospel we hear Jesus say to us: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mt 11:28‑30). Our Lord proposes himself as a model of meekness and humility, virtues and dispositions of the heart, which always go together.
As Jesus talks to the people who follow him, “harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd” (Mt 9:36), he wins their trust through the meekness of his heart, always so welcoming and understanding.
The liturgy shows us Christ as “gentle and lowly” so that we can go to him in all simplicity, and also so that we can prepare for Christmas by trying to imitate him. Only in this way will we be able to understand what is happening at Bethlehem. Only in this way will we be able to get those around us to come with us toward the baby who is God.
Souls open wide to a heart that is gentle and lowly, like Christ’s. There, in his most lovable Heart, the crowds used to find shelter and rest; and even now they still feel strongly attracted by him and find peace in him. Our Lord has told us to learn from him. The fruitfulness of all apostolates will always be very closely bound up with this virtue of meekness.
If we look closely at Jesus we will see how patient he is with the defects of his disciples, and how unweariedly he repeats the same teaching over and over again, explaining it in detail, so that his slow‑minded and easily‑distracted friends can master his saving doctrine. He never loses patience with their obtuseness and failure to grasp his meaning. Truly, Jesus “who is our master and Lord at the same time is meek and humble of heart, acted patiently in attracting and inviting his disciples.”1
The way to cure our bad temper, impatience, and failure to be warm and understanding is to imitate Jesus in his meekness. This calm and welcoming spirit will be born and develop in us in exact proportion to our efforts to remember the constant presence of God and to think more often about our Lord’s life. “How I wish your bearing and conversation were such that, on seeing or hearing you, people would say: This man reads the life of Jesus Christ.”2 To contemplate Jesus will especially help us not to be arrogant, and not to lose our tempers when things go wrong.
We must not make the mistake of thinking that this “bad temper” of ours, which bursts out in very definite circumstances and times, depends on the character of the people around us. “The peace of our spirit does not depend on the good nature and kindness of other people. Our neighbors’ good nature and kindness are in no way subject to our control or opinion. That would be absurd. The tranquility of our heart depends on ourselves. The ability to avoid anger, with all its ridiculous effects, has to come from within ourselves and not be dependent on the nature of other people. The power to overcome the evil in our character must not depend on some perfection outside us, but on our own virtue.”3
Meekness is particularly necessary in circumstances where living with other people is very difficult. (F. Fernandez Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
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Meekness Rooted in Great Spiritual Strength
Meekness does not go with being feeble or characterless. On the contrary, it is found on great spiritual strength. The very practice of this virtue calls for continuous acts of such strength. Just as, according to the Gospel, the poor are those who are truly rich, so the meek are those who are truly strong. “Blessed are the meek because they, in this world’s warfare, are protected against the devil and against earthly persecutors. They are like glassware so well packed into straw or hay that it is not broken when it is struck. Meekness is like a strong shield, which blunts and shatters the sharp arrows of anger. The meek are like people dressed in garments of thick quilted cotton which protect them without harming anyone else.”4
Anger in all its many forms is the material on which this virtue has to work. Meekness controls and directs it, so that it is aroused only when necessary and to the extent to which it is necessary.
“Learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart.” Comparing it to the majesty of God, who has made himself a Baby in Bethlehem, we see our own life in its real proportions. And what could have seemed an enormous trial shrinks to its true insignificant size. As we contemplate the birth of Jesus, we find that our prayer comes alive, our love becomes wider and deeper, and our peace more unshakable.
Close to him, we learn to consider the various happenings of our everyday life in his presence and so give them their true value, to be silent sometimes when we would have liked to speak, to smile, to be nice to everybody, to wait for the right moment in which to correct a fault. At the same time, we are ready to leap to the defense of truth and the interests of God and of other people with as much force as may be necessary. For there is no opposition between meekness, closely connected as it is with humility, and a righteous anger against injustice. Meekness is not a shelter for cowardice.
An anger that protects the rights of other people–and most especially the sovereignty and holiness of God–is virtuous and holy. We see the virtuous anger of Jesus against the Pharisees and traders in the Temple (Jn 2:13‑17). Our Lord found the Temple turned “into a den of robbers,” a place where there was no reverence, given over to business which had nothing to do with the true worship of God. Our Lord was terribly angry, and showed it by word and deed. The evangelists have shown us few scenes as forceful as this one.
And yet, together with his virtuous anger with those who prostitute that holy place, Jesus shows us simultaneously his great compassion for the needy. “And the blind and the lame came to him in the Temple and he healed them” (Mt 21:14). (F. Fernandez Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
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The Fruits of Meekness; Its Necessity for Social Life and Apostolate
Meekness sets its face against those pointless displays of violence, which at the bottom are signs of weakness, such as impatience, irritation, bad temper, and hatred. It is opposed to all useless waste of energy in unnecessary anger, that so often originates in little things that could have been passed over in silence or with a smile, and which never has any useful results.
Those explosions of bad temper between husband and wife, that can gradually corrode true love, stem from a lack of this virtue. So does irritability, with its serious consequences for the bringing up of children. The same lack of meekness destroys our peace in prayer, because instead of talking to God we brood over our injuries. The absence of meekness leads to that bad temper in conversation which makes even the most solid arguments powerless to convince. Mastery of oneself–which is part of true meekness–is the weapon of those who are really strong; it prevents us from answering back too quickly and from speaking wounding words that afterwards we wish we had never said. Meekness knows how to wait for the right moment, and to express its judgements in a way that carries conviction.
The habitual lack of meekness is the result of pride, and produces nothing but loneliness and sterility. “Your ill‑temper, your roughness, your unfriendliness, your rigidity (not very Christian!) are the reasons why you find yourself alone, in the loneliness of someone who is selfish, embittered, eternally discontented or resentful; and they are also the reason why you are surrounded not by love but by indifference, coldness, resentment, and lack of trust.
“With your good humor, your understanding and your friendliness, with the meekness of Christ as part and parcel of your life, not only should you be happy, but you should bring happiness to everyone around you, to the people you meet on the road of your life.”5
“The meek shall inherit the earth.” First they will possess themselves, because they will not be the slaves of their impatience and bad temper; they will possess God, because their souls will always be inclined to prayer, in a continual consciousness of the presence of God; they will possess those around them, because they have the kind of hearts which win friendship and affection, indispensable for everyday social life and for all apostolate. As we pass through the world, we must spread around us the “fragrance of Christ” (2 Cor 2:15), habitual smile, good humor and happiness, love and understanding.
Let us examine ourselves on our readiness to make the sacrifices necessary to make life pleasant for other people. Let us see if we are able to give way to other people’s opinions, instead of claiming to be always right about everything, and if we know how to control our temper and disregard the frictions, which are inevitable in daily life. This is a good time for strengthening this attitude of mind. We will achieve it if we talk more often to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph; if we make a real effort every day to be more understanding with the people around us; if we never stop trying to smooth out the rough edges of our characters; if we know how to go to the Tabernacle to talk over with our Lord the subjects which are uppermost in our thoughts. (F. Fernández Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 1, 11)
Serenity: Seeing Things as They Are
The peace that God gives is not an absence of difficulties, but the ability to maintain problems under control.
This peace and calm, the serenity that we so much hope will be the Holy Spirit’s gift to us. It is only our being children of God that gives us such sense of security. Aware of what we are, we can say, “The Lord is my light, and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?,” and we will stay tranquil.
The serenity that God gives us is not a blindness to the realities of life, but the ability to face them with optimism, while trusting in our heavenly Father’s help.
***
Rejecting evil and preserving goodness; patience deserves the name of virtue if we struggle with serenity, in spite of the difficulties. (St Augustine, Sermon on Patience).
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With ascetical struggle, that is, putting into practice, right through the day the theological virtues, which are virtues to be lived before being theorized about–faith, hope, charity.... That is the way to have serenity. Serenity: that is a layman’s way of describing one of the results of fortitude, temperance, justice, prudence; of the cardinal virtues. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, May 31, 1954)
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When I was small, like all children I used to build little forts with mud and stones and bits of wood. If anyone walked on them and knocked them down.... I was really annoyed. What a catastrophe!
I am amused now to think back on it; I can only smile at those childish catastrophes. Yet, if we look at them supernaturally, very many of the preoccupations of older people and apparently very mature people are in the same category as children’s games and childish catastrophes. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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The virtue of serenity is a rare one that teaches us to see things in their true light and evaluate them properly. With balance and common sense we get to know the real, objective value of things; with our faith we get to know the supernatural value they should attain.
Serenity is missing when we deform reality; when we turn a molehill into a mountain; when things that should not cause us worry in fact do so; each and every time we fail to take account, in our judgments, of divine Providence and the eternal truths. If we bring into our lives the Christian virtue of serenity, what will remain of all these worries, anxieties, and surprises? Nothing, or almost nothing. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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With the mere passage of time we can, almost always, look serenely at the past; but, isn’t it true that only virtue can give us a serene attitude to the present and the future?
Time, as it goes by, leaves everything in its place. Now that it’s all over, that affair or that event, which caused us so much worry, is barely a shadow, a chiaroscuro in the general canvass of our life. Well, it is about this serenity in relation to the present and the future that I want to talk to you.
We need serenity of mind, to avoid being slaves of our nerves or victims of our imagination. We need serenity of heart, if we are to avoid being eaten up by anxiety or anguish. We need serenity in the way we act, to avoid darkness and empty-headed waste of energy. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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A serene mind makes a person firm and steady, well able to direct others; a serene mind finds the right word at the right time to bring light and consolation; and it enables one to understand things properly and have a sense of perspective, to see the wood from the trees.
I think I should say it again: The virtue of serenity is a rare virtue, for many people’s lives are ruled by their nerves; many are eaten up by their imagination; and there are some who turn everything into tragedy or melodrama.
The meticulous, pernickety person sees only details, and is so insistent that he suffocates others. The theoretical type can see nothing but general questions, and he withdraws from real life. Only the serene person is able to see the whole and the parts and integrate them properly.
A rigid person is not serene, for his rigidity takes him from giving due weight to circumstance, time, and place. His lack of serenity upsets and oppresses other people.
A weak person is not serene either, because he never goes far enough; due to his weakness he harms himself and other people. He doesn’t get in other people’s way, but fails to control events. He is ineffectual; he is at the mercy of the current. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Objectivity and a capacity to be specific, analysis and synthesis, gentleness and energy, a brake and a spur, an overview and awareness of detail: All these things and many more combine to produce, in a harmonious synthesis, the Christian virtue of serenity.
But neither you nor I nor anyone can be serene unless we first fight. Everyone has passions; imagination can disturb every mind; nerves exist in everyone’s body; everyone is oversensitive in some area; ignorance, error, and exaggeration are to be found in everyone’s mind; and fear and trembling can lurk in every heart. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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Serenity should be a second nature to the Christian; for his faith is a source of serenity and harmony.
This panorama of our interior life that we have been considering has as its foundation a whole range of human virtues that bring balance, realism, and common sense. The virtue of faith, the true light of the soul, rises on this whole scene as the sun over a mountain range; it gives us a view of life and its various options that is full of serenity; it shows us a broad horizon rich in details. Through this serene vision the heart is set at ease, the soul finds calm, and the mind understands–with God’s light–the meaning of many things, increasing thus the serene tranquility of your life.
Even those things we do not understand will not disturb our soul, for faith will teach us that the cause of them is always the goodness of God and his affection for man. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
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We should remember that,
- Christian serenity lives hidden under the dark veil of faith;
- Christian serenity comes down on us, bringing supernatural outlook, as the dew that comes down on flowers with the first light of the morning;
- Christian serenity is expressed in the words of Jesus: “Let not your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid,” and, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world if he suffers the loss of his soul?”;
- Christian serenity fuses with those who pray as the rain soaks into the earth in springtime;
- Christian serenity puts down deep roots in those who learn to embrace and overcome sorrow through faith;
- Christian serenity settles down in those who are nourished by the Body and Blood of Christ;
- Christian serenity fills those who open themselves, sincerely and confidently, to their spiritual director;
- Christian serenity is the most delicate gift Jesus gives to those who are simple and uncomplicated. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
***
Our Father God wants us,
- to be serene in the midst of the tests and difficulties of life–”constant in prayer, patient in tribulation, rejoicing in hope” (Rom 12:12);
- to be serene facing death and facing life: “Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Rom 14:8);
- to be serene in our everyday work, especially when it becomes hard and burdensome;
- to be serene when, due to our position, we have to give other people help and advice;
- to be serene when, at our desk, we face problems and professional decisions;
- to be serene in our sincere effort to be better: “By endurance you will gain your lives” (Lk 21:19). (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
***
We lack this serenity when we get annoyed with ourselves, and when we lose our peace on seeing our slow progress in the ways of the Lord. Serenity makes us understand that “no one becomes a saint all of a sudden”; and also that we will never find our Lord in noise and interior confusion, for the Lord comes in tranquility.
Therefore, if our prayer is serene in its resolutions, affections, and inspirations; it will produce better and more enduring results.
Apostolate, a great gift of God, is to give guidance, security, and serenity to souls as they make their way to God; thus, we must fill our apostolate with serenity.
And the Queen of serenity–we say it joyfully–is our heavenly Mother. (S. Canals, Jesus as Friend)
***
Serenity. Why lose your temper if by losing it you offend God, trouble your neighbor, give yourself a bad time ... and in the end, you have to recover your calm [usual self?] anyway? (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 8)
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What you have just said, say it in another tone, without anger, and what you say will have more force ... and above all, you won’t offend God. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 9)
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Never reprimand anyone while you still feel angry over a fault that has been committed. Wait until the next day, or even longer. Then, once you are calm and have purified your intention, be sure to make your correction.
You’ll gain more with an affectionate word than with three hours of quarrelling. Control your temper. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 10)
***
You clash with the character of one person or another.... It has to be that way; you are not a dollar bill to be liked by everyone.
Besides, without those clashes which arise in dealing with your neighbors, how could you ever lose the barbs, the sharp corners, the edges–imperfections and defects of your character–and acquire the perfect shape, the smoothness, and the firm mildness of charity, of perfection?
If your character and that of those around you were soft and sweet like marshmallows, you would never become a saint. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 20)
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Don’t argue. Arguments usually bring no light because the light is smothered by emotion. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 25)
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Resentment has sharpened your tongue. Be silent! (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 654)
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Always remain silent when you feel indignation surge up within you–even when you have reason to be angry.
For in spite of your discretion, you always say more than you want to in such moments. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 656)
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“Jesus remains silent.”–Iesus autem tacebat. Why do you speak, to console yourself or to explain yourself?
Say nothing. Seek joy in contempt; you’ll always receive less contempt than you deserve. Can you, by any chance, ask, Quid enim mali feci?–What evil have I done? (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 671)
***
If you have presence of God, high above the deafening storm, the sun will always be shining on your eyes; and underneath the roaring and devastating waves, peace and calm will reign in your soul. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 343)
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Don’t be confused; serenity is not laziness, carelessness, putting off decisions, or deferring the study of important matters.
Serenity is always completed with diligence, a virtue we need in order to consider and solve pending problems without delay. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 467)
***
Plots, wretched misinterpretations cut to the measure of the base hearts that will listen to them, cowardly insinuations.... It is a picture that, sadly, we see over and over again, in different environments; they neither work themselves, nor let others work.
Meditate slowly on those verses of the Psalm: “My God, I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons. Because zeal for thy house has consumed me, and the insults of those who insult thee have fallen on me.” And keep on working. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 797)
***
You need patience and humility, if you want to rise superior to all your enemies. (Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ, I,13,3)
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He who is angered with cause is not at fault; for if anger did not exist, laws would be valueless, courts would not exist, and crimes would go unpunished. He who is not angered, when there is cause to be so, sins; imprudent patience breeds vices, aids negligence, and invites evil doings, not only among wicked people, but also among good ones. (St Augustine, in Catena Aurea, I).
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Do not limit your patience to this or that kind of offense or problem. Extend it universally to everything that God will send you or let happen to you. Some wish to suffer no hardships except those bringing honor or prestige; they wouldn’t mind being wounded or made a prisoner in a victorious war, persecuted for religion, or impoverished by some public lawsuit which they will eventually win.
Such people do not love the cross, but the honor that goes with it. The truly patient man who really loves God endures equally hardships accompanied by shame, and those that bring prestige.
To be despised, criticized, or accused by evil men is a common deed for a courageous man; to be criticized, denounced, and treated badly by good men, by our own friends and relatives, is the test of virtue. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Be patient not only with the big part of the hardships that may come to you, but also with the natural consequences of these afflictions. Many would be ready to accept hardships provided they are not affected by the accompanying circumstances. “I wouldn’t be bothered by poverty,” one may say, “if it didn’t keep me from helping my friends, providing a high level of education to my children, or being surrounded by an aura of respectability, as I would like.” “Poverty wouldn’t bother me,” another may say, “if people didn’t think that it was my own fault.”
Now I say that we must be patient with whatever difficulties God may send us. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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When you are hit by hardship, do your best and apply whatever remedy you may have–provided it is not an offense to God; to do otherwise is to tempt God. Having done this, wait with resignation for the results it may please God to send.
If it is God’s Will that the remedy overcomes the hardship, humbly give thanks to God. If the remedy is ineffectual, bless God with patience. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Complain as little as possible about the wrongs you suffer. Undoubtedly, a person who complains commits a sin by doing so. Self-love always imagines that injuries are worse than they really are. Above all, do not share your resentment with irritable or fault-finding persons. If there is just occasion for complaining to someone, either to correct an offense, or to restore your peace of mind, do so to persons who are even-tempered and really love God. Instead of calming your spirit, the others will stir up greater distress, and instead of pulling out the thorn that is hurting you, they will drive it deeper into your foot.
The truly patient man does not complain of his hard lot or desires to be pitied by others. He speaks of his sufferings in a natural, true, and sincere way, without maligning others, complaining or exaggerating his pain. (St Francis of Sales, Introduction to Devout Life, 3,3)
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Patience knows how to bear everything with a magnanimous heart. (Cassian, Inst., 7)
Calmness in the Face of Difficulties
We need calm in all our reactions. We are threatened by evil sadness that may come from suffering, sickness, adversity, or, most of all, from the realization of our own wretchedness. When this happens, we should be able to hear the voice of Lord telling us, “Do not let your heart be troubled, or be afraid” (Jn 14:27), and find refuge in our divine filiation.
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The Storm on the Lake
While sailing to the opposite shore of the Lake of Gennesareth, as the Lord had told them, the apostles were twice caught by a storm. St Mark (4:35-40) tells us that Jesus was with them in the boat. Our Lord was resting after a hard day’s preaching. He lay down in the stern, reclining his head on a cushion, probably a simple, coarse leather bag stuffed with rags or wool. That was the usual thing the sailors had on these boats. The angels in heaven must have been gazing upon their King and Lord as he recovered his strength, lying upon the hard deck planking. He who governs the universe was stretched out there exhausted.
Meanwhile his disciples, many of them sailors, began to feel the first squalls of the gathering storm. It soon fell on them, with tremendous force ... “and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.” They did what they could, but the seas grew higher and rougher and they were about to founder. Then as a last resort they turned to Jesus. They woke him with a cry of distress. “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?”
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God Will Never Abandon Us
The skill of those sea-hardened fishermen was not enough. Our Lord had to intervene. “And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, `Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.” Peace also entered the hearts of those frightened men.
Sometimes the storm arises around us or within us. And it seems that our frail craft cannot take any more. At times we have the impression that God is heedless of our fate. The waves are breaking over us: personal weaknesses, professional or financial difficulties that are beyond our management, illness, problems with children or parents, the menace of being denounced, a hostile environment, slander.... But “if you have presence of God, high above the deafening storm, the sun will always be shining on your eyes; and underneath the roaring and devastating waves, peace and calm will reign in your soul.”6
God will never abandon us. We must go to him, using all the means we need to employ. At all times, tell Jesus with the confidence of one who has taken him as his Master, and wants to follow him unconditionally, “Lord, do not leave me!” And together with him we will face up to those trials and surmount them. They will no longer be bitter, and we will not be dismayed by the storms that blow. (F. Fernández Carvajal, Calmness in the Face of Difficulties)
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You suffer in this present life, which is only a dream, and a short one at that. Rejoice, because your Father God loves you so much, and if you put no obstacles in his way, after this bad dream he will give you a good awakening. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 692)
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Facing Up to Misunderstandings
“Jesus awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, `Peace! Be still!’” This miracle made an unforgettable impression on the apostles. It confirmed them in their faith and prepared them for the harder, more testing battles that lay ahead. The sight of a perfectly calm sea, subject to the voice of Christ, was engraved on their hearts. Years afterwards, these men would pray, and the memory of this scene would bring peace to them as they underwent all the trials our Lord had forewarned them of.
On another occasion, on the way to Jerusalem, Jesus told them that what the prophets had foretold about the Son of Man was about to be fulfilled. “For he will be delivered to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and shamefully treated and spat upon; they will scourge him and kill him, and on the third day he will rise” (Lk 18:31-33). At the same time he warned them that they too will go through terrible times of persecution and slander. “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they malign those of his household?” (Mt 10:24). Jesus wanted to convince those first disciples–and us too–that there is no compromise possible between him and his doctrine on the one hand, and the world as a kingdom of sin on the other. He reminds them not to be surprised to be treated in this way: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (Jn 15:18). Hence, as St Gregory explains, “the hostility of the wicked is like a praise for our way of life; it shows that there is at least some rectitude in us, as long as we oppose those who do not love God. Nobody can please God and the enemies of God at the same time.”7 If we are faithful there will be winds and storms. But Jesus will say once more to the stormy sea, “Peace! Be still!”
At the very beginning of the Church the apostles gathered abundant fruits. But at the same time they suffered threats, insults, and persecution. They were not concerned whether public opinion was favorable or hostile toward them; they were concerned to make Christ known to all, to take the fruits of our Redemption to the farthest corners of the earth. They preached the doctrine of Christ, which in purely human terms constituted a scandal for some and seemed sheer madness to others. This doctrine entered all environments, transforming souls and customs.
Many circumstances have changed since the times of the apostles, but others remain as they were or have become even worse. Materialism, the excessive love of comfort and well-being, sensuality, and ignorance represent once again in many places furious winds and stormy seas. And we can add to this the temptation of many people to adapt the doctrine of Christ to the times, seriously deforming the essential message of the Gospel.
If we want to be apostles in the midst of the world, we must realize that some people–at times our husband, our wife, our parents, or an old friend–will not understand us. We will have to take heart, because it is not easy to row against the stream. We will have to work calmly and firmly. We cannot be deterred or allow ourselves to be deflected by the attitude of those who, in many ways, have compromised; those who have so identified themselves with the customs of the new paganism that they seem unable to understand the transcendent, supernatural meaning of life.
Our intimacy with God will give us serenity and strength, and we will be a firm rock for many. We can never forget that, particularly nowadays, “the Lord needs strong and courageous souls who refuse to come to terms with mediocrity, but will be able to enter all kinds of environments with a sure step....”8 We should show our Christian criteria in parent-teacher associations, in professional bodies, in the universities, in the trade unions, in informal conversation before and after a meeting.
As a specific example, the influence of families is particularly important in social and public life. Christians “should be the first to take steps to see that the laws ... not only do not transgress against, but actually support and positively defend, the rights and duties of the family”9 promoting thus a real “family politics.” To do so, it is important to know the doctrine of the Church on the family, to awaken the consciences on the social and political responsibilities of Christian families, and to establish or strengthen existing associations for the good of the family.
We cannot remain inactive while the enemies of God strive to eliminate all trace of the eternal destiny of man. (F. Fernández Carvajal, Calmness in the Face of Difficulties)
Our Attitude toward Difficulties
We should learn how to endure physical and moral hardship without complaining. Pain, illness, suffering, the greatest catastrophes, are not blind forces unloosed on the world by chance; rather, they are obedient creatures fulfilling their own part in the universe, leading to the salvation of God’s elect. Everything works for our good and the good of souls. It is enough to be in Jesus’ company to be safe. Worry, fear, and cowardice arise when our prayer weakens. Our Lord knows well enough everything that is happening to us. And if need be, he will rebuke wind and sea, and a great calm will be established; his peace will flood into us, and we will be filled with awe like the apostles. Besides, the Blessed Virgin will not leave us for an instant.
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Anxiety, terror, that unbearable fear of something that takes hold on life and oppresses it, all disappear in those seeking sanctity. These fears give way to an attitude of mastery toward the world, of imperturbable security in the face of any event, of understanding everything because everything means something to these people. They know where it comes from and where it leads. Living close to God through grace gives a full understanding of how everything in the universe has its place in God’s plan. And this knowledge is the foundation of their serene attitude to life and everything life may bring.
Pain, illness, suffering, the greatest catastrophes, are not blind forces unloosed on the world by chance; rather, they are obedient creatures fulfilling their own part in the universe, leading to the salvation of God’s elect. (F. Suárez, Mary of Nazareth)
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According to St Augustine, patience is the virtue that allows us to bear adversity with a serene spirit. We should prize this serenity of soul because it allows us to obtain greater goods. The Christian should learn how to endure physical and moral hardship without complaining.
Usually we are presented with many different opportunities to practice this virtue in the ordinary circumstances of everyday life. The struggle may relate to the most mundane things–a character defect that keeps resurfacing, undertakings that don’t go as we had planned, unexpected changes in schedule, the bad manners of a colleague at work, people who mean well but don’t understand, traffic jams, delays in public transportation, too many phone calls, forgetfulness.... These are all occasions for us to grow in humility and become more refined in our charity. (F. Fernández Carvajal, In Conversation with God, 5, 94)
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“`The three concupiscences (cf. 1 Jn 2:16) are like three gigantic forces which have unleashed a tremendous frenzy of lust, of man’s conceited pride in his own strength, and of a desire for riches’.... And without being pessimistic or depressed, we can see that ... these forces have achieved an unprecedented development and a monstrous aggressiveness, to such an extent that `an entire civilization is tottering, powerless and without moral resources to fall back on.’”10
We cannot remain inactive in such a situation. “For the love of Christ compels us” (2 Cor 5:14). Charity, and the real need of so many creatures, drives us to carry out an untiring apostolic activity in all places. Each person has to work in his own environment, in spite of the hostility we will meet and the misunderstandings of people who cannot or do not want to understand.
“Walk therefore in nomine Domini–with joy and security in the name of the Lord. No pessimism! If difficulties arise, the grace of God will come more abundantly. If more difficulties appear, more of God’s grace will come down from heaven. If there are many difficulties, there will be many graces from God. Divine help is always proportionate to the obstacles with which the world and the devil oppose apostolic work. And so I would even dare to affirm that, in a way, it is good that there are difficulties, because then we will obtain more help from God. ‘Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more’ (Rom 5:20).”11
While meditating on this passage of the Gospel, we can purify our intentions, promise to be more attentive to the Master, and strengthen our faith. Our attitude must always be one of forgiveness and serenity, because God is with each of us. “Christian, Christ is sleeping in your boat,” St Augustine reminds us; “wake him, and he will rebuke the storm and peace will be restored.”12
Everything works for our good and the good of souls. It is enough to be in Jesus’ company to be safe. Worry, fear, and cowardice arise when our prayer weakens. He knows well enough everything that is happening to us. And if need be, he will rebuke wind and sea, and a great calm will be established; his peace will flood into us, and we will be filled with awe like the apostles.
The Blessed Virgin will not leave us for an instant. “If the winds of temptation arise, fix your eyes in the star, call upon Mary ... With her for a guide you will not go astray; while invoking her, you will never lose heart; so long as she is in your mind, you are safe from deception. If she holds your hand, you cannot fall; under her protection you have nothing to fear; if she walks before you, you will not get tired; if she shows you favor, you will reach the goal.”13
Patience and Inner Peace
Patience imparts a superior quality to the soul as a person perfects his interior life. Those souls who are most intimately united with God bear any trials and tribulations with joy and inner peace.
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Christians love all men, yet all men persecute them. Condemned because they are not understood, they are put to death, but raised to life again. They live in poverty, yet enrich many. They are defamed, and in their defamation find their glory. They are slandered, and are vindicated. A blessing is their answer to abuse, deference their response to insult.
For the good they do, they receive the punishment of malefactors, but even then they rejoice, as though receiving the gift of life. They are attacked by the Jews as aliens, they are persecuted by the Greeks, yet no one can explain the reason for this hatred. (Epistle to Diognetus, circa year 124)
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When I lived in the desert, I had a reed to write with. It always seemed to me, I remember, either too thick or too thin. I had to shape its point with a blunt knife that hardly could cut. I had to light the candle with a flint, whose spark flashed too late to satisfy my urgency to begin my writing. In those instances, I felt waves of indignation within me, leading me to proffer curses against these inanimate objects, or against Satan himself.
This experience manifests of how little value it is to isolate oneself and thus avoid the possibility of quarrels, if one has not first acquired patience. Our wrath would fall on even inanimate objects, should we lack someone on whom to rent our blows. (Cassian, Inst., 8,17)
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Being patient means that one will not allow his serenity, objectivity, and unbiased criteria to be swept away by the wounds received while doing good. (J. Pieper, The Fundamental Truths)
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Someone avoiding evil cannot be called patient, but rather he who does not allow himself to fall into an unwarranted state of sadness by the presence of evil. (St Thomas of Aquinas, S.Th., 2-2, q136, a4 ad2)
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Patience is tolerating, with a tranquil spirit, the wrongs we encounter, never resenting those that caused them. (St Gregory the Great, Moralia, 13)
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Cassian relates that an old man in Alexandria was surrounded by the mob uttering insults against him, for being a Christian. He stood in the middle, like a lamb, suffering in silence, with great peace of heart. They mocked him and gave him blows. Among other things, they shouted at him with scorn: “What miracles has Jesus Christ performed?” He answered back: “One of his miracles is that suffering the injuries that you are doing to me, I feel no indignation or anger against you, no irritation or passion within me.”
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Serenity! Daring!
With these virtues, rout the fifth column of the lukewarm, the timid, and the treacherous. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 112)
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You told me that God sometimes–briefly–fills you with lights and sometimes does not.
I reminded you–firmly–that the Lord is always infinitely good. Thus, those moments of light are enough for you to carry on; but those times of darkness are good for you too, to make you more faithful. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 341)
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God is with you; cast away spiritual worry and fear. Cut them off at the root and with determination, for they only breed temptations and increase danger. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 854)
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Even if everything should collapse and fail; events turn upside down causing great adversity, nothing is gained by being perturbed. Furthermore, remember the confident prayer of the prophet: “The Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; he will save us.”
Pray it with devotion every day, so that your behavior may adjust itself to the plans of Providence, which governs us for our own good. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 855)
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As soon as you have truly abandoned yourself in the Lord, you will learn how to accept whatever comes. You will not lose serenity if your efforts–despite having drawn all your skills and used the proper means–do not achieve the desired results. Because they will have turned out as God wanted them to. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 860)
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A paradox: Ever since I decided to follow the advice of the psalm: “Cast your cares upon the Lord, and he will sustain you,” each day I have fewer worries on my mind. Then, after completing the needed tasks, everything is more easily solved. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 873)
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It is wrong to judge a person merely by his first words ... or by his last ones.
Listen with respect, with interest. Give due credit where due..., but carefully ponder your judgement in the presence of God. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 906)
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For you who have a great problem; if you approach it properly, that is, with a calm and responsible supernatural outlook, you will always find a solution. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 958)
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I understand your holy impatience, but you must also realize that some need to think things over, and that others will respond all in good time.... Wait for them with open arms. Flavor your holy impatience with abundant prayer and mortification.... They will come more youthful and generous. They will have got rid of their bourgeois approach, and they will be all the more courageous.
Think how God is waiting for them! (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 206)
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I do not deny that you are clever. But your irrational vehemence leads you to act like a fool. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 439)
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If, by fixing your sight on God, you can maintain serenity in the face of worries, forget petty things, jealousies, and envies, you will avoid the exertion of so much effort that is needed to work effectively in the service of men. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 856)
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Holy Mary is–as the Church invokes her–the Queen of peace. So when there is turmoil in your soul, or your family, or at work, or in society, or between nations, cry out to her, unceasingly, in this way: Regina pacis, ora pro nobis–Queen of peace, pray for us. Have you, at least, tried it when you have lost your peace of mind?...–You will be surprised at its instantaneous effect. (St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 874)
Gentleness and Wrath
A man who is angry seems to have prevailed; but in fact, he is overcome and hurt by a grievous passion. A man who endures nobly, and remains calm got the better and conquered. His inner victory is a sign of strength.
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When the Body of our Lord was placed in the sepulcher, the Jews tried to put seals and lookouts on the Truth. But all these safeguards only made the Truth more conspicuous. And the mocking, jeering, and reviling became causes of self-shame. Such is the nature of error: it destroys the very means it uses. They that seem to have conquered are put to shame, defeated, and ruined. But He that seemed to have been defeated shone forth above all men and conquered mightily.
A man after being wronged may get angry, overreact, and conquer the wrongdoer; but this is an evil victory that brings destruction to the winner. The one who bears it with patience and self-control conquers and wins a crown. Often, to be defeated is the best mode of victory.
We should not seek that kind of victory, or shun this kind of defeat. That victory brings harm, this defeat, profit.
A man who is angry seems to have prevailed; but in fact, he is overcome and hurt by a grievous passion. A man who endures nobly, and remains calm got the better and conquered. His inner victory is a sign of strength.
By being struck, the rocks of the sea break the waves. Thus also with the saints; by their patience and endurance in the face of difficulties they won, were crowned, and conquered a glorious trophy. (St John Chrysostom, Homiliae in Matthaeum, 84)
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In Christian parlance, the notions of “sensuality,” “passion,” “desire” are customarily–though very unjustly– understood exclusively as “anti‑spiritual sensuality,” “wicked passion,” “rebellious desire.” Such a constriction of an originally much broader meaning obscures the important fact that all these notions by no means have a merely negative sense. Rather, they represent forces from which the essence of human nature is built up and draws its life.
The same is true of the notion of wrath or anger. At the mention of anger, Christian awareness sees as a rule only the uncontrolled, the anti‑spiritual, the negative aspect. But, as with “sensuality” and “desire,” the power of wrath also belongs to the primal forces of the human. In this power of wrath, the energy of human nature is most clearly expressed. It is a force directed toward the difficulty of achieving a good or because of the difficulty of overcoming an evil. Wrath is the strength to attack the repugnant. The power of anger is actually the power of resistance in the soul.
Whoever, therefore, stigmatizes the power of wrath as something in itself anti‑spiritual and consequently to be “mortified” is committing the same error as one who similarly slights “sensuality,” “passion,” and “desire.” Both condemn the basic forces of our being, offending the Creator who, as the liturgy of the Church says, has “marvelously established the dignity of human nature.” (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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Concerning wrath (in the narrower sense), understood as the passionate desire for just retribution of injustice that has been suffered, St Thomas, in repudiation of the Stoics, says the following: “Because the nature of man is constructed of soul and body, of spirit and sensuality, it belongs to the good of man to devote himself utterly to virtue, namely with spirit, sensuality, and body alike. And therefore man’s virtue requires that the will for just retribution reside not only in the spiritual realm of the soul, but also in sensuality and in the body itself.” This passage is found in the great work of St. Thomas’ later life, the De Malo, in an article discussing the question “whether all wrath is evil.”
Anger is good if, in accordance with the order of reason, it is brought into service for the true goals of man. One who does good with passion is more praiseworthy than one who is “not entirely” afire for the good, even to the forces of the sensual realm. Gregory the Great says, “Reason opposes evil the more effectively when anger ministers at her side.” And what was said of the power of sexual desire, which overwhelms reason, is likewise true of the obscuring power of anger. “It is not contrary to the nature of virtue that the consideration of reason comes to a stop in the execution of that which reason has already considered. Even art would be impeded in its activity if it should wish to consider what was to be done where it was a question of immediate action.”
The surprise with which we reflect on these statements makes us aware once again how far we are from considering the whole man in our conception of the moral good. We realize how much we almost unconsciously tend to take the “purely spiritual” for actual humanity. On the other hand, the “ancients” can teach us much and make us once again embrace the full created nature of world and man, in its true reality. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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It is self‑evident that the anger which breaks all bounds and disrupts the order of reason is evil and is sin. Blind wrath, bitterness of spirit, and revengeful resentment–the three basic forms of intemperate anger–are therefore evil and contrary to order.
Blind wrath shuts the eyes of the spirit before they have been able to grasp the facts and to judge them. Bitterness and resentment, with a grim joy in negation, close their ears to the language of truth and love. They poison the heart like a festering ulcer. Also evil, of course, is all anger linked to unjust desire. This needs no further discussion.
In the upsurge of his self‑will, the intemperately angry man feels as if he were drawing his whole being together like a club ready to strike. But this is the very thing he fails to achieve. Only gentleness and mildness can accomplish it. The two are not equivalent: mildness is gentleness turned toward what is without. “Gentleness above all makes man master of himself.” Holy Scripture speaks of this virtue in much the same terms as of patience. In St Luke’s Gospel, it is said of patience that through it man possesses his soul. And of gentleness, it is said, “Possess thy soul through gentleness” (Sir 10:31).
Gentleness, however, does not signify that the original power of wrath is weakened or, worse still, “mortified,” just as chastity does not imply a weakening of sexual power. On the contrary, gentleness as a virtue presupposes the power of wrath; gentleness implies mastery of this power, not its weakening. We should not mistake the pale‑faced harmlessness which pretends to be gentleness–unfortunately often successfully–for a Christian virtue. Lack of sensuality is not chastity; and incapacity for wrath has nothing to do with gentleness. Such incapacity not only is not a virtue, but, as St Thomas expressly says, a fault: peccatum ad vitium. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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Behave kindly to all, to superiors and inferiors, to the high‑born and peasant, to relatives and strangers; but more especially to the poor and infirm, and, above all, to those who regard us with an evil eye.
Gentleness in the correction of faults is more efficacious than any other means or reasons that may be employed. Be therefore on your guard against correcting in a fit of passion; for then harshness is sure to be mingled with it, either in word or action. Beware likewise of correcting the person in fault while he is excited; for in like cases the result is exasperation instead of improvement. (A. M. de’ Liguori, The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ)
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The patient man cannot be sundered from the love of God, and does not need to calm his spirit, for he knows that all is for the best. He is never irked, and nothing moves him to anger, for he is settled in the love of God and this is his only concern. (St Clement of Alexandria, Stromata, 6)
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Just as victory attests to the soldier’s valor in battle, unbreakable patience through toil and temptation reveals a man’s holiness. (St Cyril, in Catena Aurea, 4)
Endurance and Attack
Christian endurance maintains a man steady in the struggle; patience keeps him away from the danger that his spirit may be broken by grief, and lose its greatness. This stout resistance is a kind of attack.
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Enduring comprises a strong activity of the soul, namely, a vigorous grasping of and clinging to the good; and only from this stout-hearted activity can the strength to support the physical and spiritual suffering of injury and death be nourished. It cannot be denied that a timid Christianity, overwhelmed and frightened by the un-Christian criteria of an ideal of fortitude that is activistically heroic, has smothered this fact in the general consciousness, and misconstrued it in the sense of a vague and resentful passivism. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
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Patience keeps man from the danger that his spirit may be broken by grief and lose its greatness. Patience, therefore, is not the tear-veiled mirror of a “broken” life (as one might easily assume in the face of what is frequently presented and praised under this name), but the radiant embodiment of ultimate integrity. (J. Pieper, The Four Cardinal Virtues)
Footnotes:
1 Second Vatican Council, Dignitatis Humanae, 11.
2 St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 2.
3 Cassian, Constitutions, 8.
4 F. Osuna, Third Spiritual Alphabet, III, 4.
5 S. Canals, Jesus as Friend.
6 St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Forge, 343.
7 Homilies on Ezekiel, 9.
8 St. Josemaría Escrivá, Furrow, 416.
9 Familiaris Consortio, 44.
10 A. del Portillo, Letter, Dec. 25, 1985, 4, quoting St. Josemaría Escrivá, Letter, Feb. 14, 1974, 10.
11 A. del Portillo, Letter, May 31 1987, 22.
12 Sermon 361, 7.
13 St Bernard, Homilies on the Blessed Virgin Mary, 2.