True and False Humility
Humility is false if, instead of relying on God, it results in an inferiority complex in view of the realization of our own defects; if, out of cowardice and egoism, it makes us shirk high goals in our interior life and in our work.
* Avoid being bashful with God, as some people are, in the belief that they are humble. Yes; it would not be humility on your part if the King were to grant you a favor and you refused to accept it; humility is taking the favor, and being pleased with it, yet realizing how far you are from deserving it.
A sham humility it would be if I had the Emperor of Heaven and earth in my house, coming to it to grant me a favor and to delight in my company, and I were so “humble” that I would not answer his questions, or remain with him, or accept what he gave me, but left him alone. Fake humility, indeed, if he were to tell me to ask for what I wanted, and I were so “humble” that I preferred to remain poor and even let him go away, remaining uncommitted.
Have nothing to do with that kind of humility, daughters. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 28, 3)
* One must realize that humility is not a negative virtue. It does not deny, it affirms; truth is never a negation. There arises a subtle falsity when, under the appearances of humility, one denies what is evident and true.
It is not humility to believe that God does not give us gifts; St Teresa of Avila warns us: “Let us understand it perfectly, as it is, that God gives us gifts without our meriting them. Let us give thanks to God for this. Otherwise, we frighten the soul into thinking that it is not capable of receiving great gifts if, when God begins to give them, the soul begins to tremble in fear of becoming proud.”
It is evident that the essence of humility does not consist in despising oneself. No one could imagine for a moment that the Virgin Mary ever despised herself. Christ himself was humble and how could he have despised himself? Self-contempt is, at best, a consequence; it is an impulse of the heart stemming from acknowledgment of the truth that we are sinners, capable of any treachery, or any bitterness, of any baseness, of everything that is low and contemptible, if God does not sustain us by his grace.
Just as there is a deformation of humility that concerns the intelligence, rejecting the true, objective progress of the soul through the action of God, there is another deformation which concerns the will: conventionalism in conduct.
This defect stems from a divorce between thought and life. It is based on the belief that humility consists of acts, when, in reality, humility is reflected in acts, creating and shaping them.
This deformity always ends in a splitting of the personality, in hypocrisy, and consequently, in falsehood and pride. “Naturalness and simplicity are two wonderful human virtues which enable man to receive the message of Christ. And, on the contrary, everything which is entangled and complicated, which twists and turns around oneself, builds a wall which often prevents one from hearing the voice of our Lord.”#1
This false humility is the exact opposite of spontaneity; it is far from being an expression of truth. Those who always speak badly of themselves, keeping their eyes to the ground, those who are shy, those who are cowards, those who do not stand up for their rights (remember St. Paul’s declaration of Roman citizenship, Acts 22:25-29), those who cover themselves with insults and defamations–how often we are insulted when others tell us we are what we say we are–and manifest many other like traits of conduct, all those people are not humble and have nothing to do with humility; all their acts are mere theatrics.
Those under the influence of this false humility have a dissociation between their inner being and their external surface. The face they show to the world never expresses their real convictions; it is severed from their inner self, and owes its origin to purely artificial calculation. They pay attention only to appearances, to exterior behavior, but leave untouched the depths of their being, the source of all activity. This is hypocrisy, the basic sin of the Pharisees. (F. Suarez, Mary of Nazareth, 2)
* Let us flee from the false humility which is called comfort‑seeking. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 265)
* Those periods of depression, because you see your defects or because others discover them, have no foundation....
Ask for true humility. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 262)
* To be humble does not mean to feel anxiety or fear. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 264)
* You understand the work that is being carried out..., you have nothing against it (!). But you are very careful not to take part in it, and even more careful to ensure that others do not see or suspect you are lending a hand.
You told me that you were afraid that people might think you are better than you are! Is it not rather that you are afraid God and men might ask you to be more consistent? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 40)
* “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart...” The humility of Jesus!... What a lesson for you who are a poor earthenware vessel. He –always merciful– has raised you up, and made the light of the sun of grace shine upon your baseness, which has now been freely exalted. And you, how often you have covered your pride under a cloak of dignity or justice!... And how many chances to learn from the Master you have wasted by not knowing how to supernaturalize them! (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 261)
* It is Peter who speaks: “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answers: “You do not understand what I am doing now; you will understand it later.” Peter insists: “You will never wash my feet.” And Jesus explains: “If I do not wash your feet, you will have no part with me.” Simon Peter surrenders: “Lord, not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.”
Faced by the call to total self‑giving, complete and without any hesitation, we often oppose it with false modesty like Peter’s.... May we also be men with a heart like the Apostle’s! Peter allows no one to love Jesus more than he does. That love leads us to reply thus: “Here I am! Wash me, head, hands, and feet! Purify me completely, for I want to give myself to you without holding anything back.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 266)
* I quote from a letter: “I am enchanted by evangelical humility. But I rebel against the timid and thoughtless way some Christians shrink away. They discredit the Church. That atheist author must have had them in mind when he wrote that Christian morality is the morality of slaves.” In fact we are servants: servants raised to the rank of children of God, who do not wish to behave as men enslaved by their passions. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 267)
* It would be a very sad thing if anyone looking at the way Catholics in society behave, concluded that they were sheepish and easily imposed upon.
Never forget that our Master was, indeed is, perfectus Homo –perfect Man. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 421)
* Cassian relates how a young monk came to Abbot Serapion. He was making a great show of humility with the poverty of his worn-out habit and his self-contempt. He would never stop speaking badly of himself; he always sat down on the ground.
As customary, Abbot Serapion received each of the monks and gave them paternal advice. When the young monk came, the abbot encouraged him to stay in his cell, work, earn his bread, according to the rule of the monks, and stop idly going round the others’ cells.
The young monk resented the admonition so much that he externally showed his disgust. The abbot replied, “My son, why did you feel insulted and change countenance? Were you expecting us to tell you, `The holy man is the first accuser of himself (Prov 18:17); that is why he speaks badly of himself’? Did you want us to praise you, and take you for a holy man?”
* Fight courageously against that false humility –you should call it spirit of comfort– which stops you from behaving like a mature son of God. You must grow!
Are you not ashamed seeing that your elder brothers have years of dedicated work, and you are not yet able –you do not want to be able– to lift a finger to help them? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 627)
* That friend of ours with no false humility used to say: “I haven’t needed to learn how to forgive, because the Lord has taught me how to love.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 804)
* It seems incredible that a man like you –who say you know you’re nothing– should dare to place obstacles in the way of God’s grace.
Yet this is what you’re doing with your false humility, your “objectivity,” your pessimism. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 246)
* That false humility is laziness. Such a “humbleness” leads you to give up rights that really are duties. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 603)
* Humility –if you look up that word in the Latin dictionary, you will get a surprise. You will find that it means “lowness, meanness, insignificance, littleness of mind, baseness, abjectness,” and it had no other sense until you come on to the Christian authors. And yet how instinctively we recognize the worth of it today, even those who wouldn’t call themselves in any sense Christians!
To be sure, there are all sort of inferior substitutes for humility which owe little or nothing to the influence of Bethlehem. There is the mock modesty which prompts us to underrate our own achievements simply as a matter of good manners; we don’t want to make a bad impression of boastfulness on the people we meet. There is the calculating, affected humility; you demean yourself before important people because you know which side your bread is buttered.
But real humility, how it shines when it catches the light! The man who can take an affront and feel it is no more than he deserves; who takes it for granted that his successful rival was the better candidate; who can work to other men’s plans when they run contrary to his own advice, the advice which was not asked for, or went unregarded– how we admire such a man, even when we think that he carries his good qualities to a fault!
The reason for our admiration –the historical reason for our admiration– is because we have been told about a God who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and took upon himself the nature of a slave for our sakes. (R. Knox, The Effect of Christmas)
Some Qualities of True Humility
* Pay great attention, daughters, to this point that I shall now make: Thinking yourselves wicked may sometimes be humility and virtue, but it may also be a great temptation. I have had experience of this, so I know it is true.
Humility, however deep it may be, neither disquiets nor troubles nor disturbs the soul; it is accompanied by peace, joy, and tranquility. On realizing how wicked we are, we may sense that we deserve hell, and may be distressed by this; we may rightly think that everyone should hate us; we may not even dare to ask for mercy. Yet, if our humility is true, this distress is accompanied by an interior peace and joy of which we would not like to be deprived. Far from disturbing or depressing the soul, true humility enlarges it and makes it fit to serve God better.
The other kind of distress only disturbs and upsets the mind and troubles the soul. So grievous is it. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 39, 2)
* These two virtues, humility and detachment from self, it is true, have the property of hiding themselves from the one who possesses them; he never sees them nor can believe that he has any of them, even if he be told so. But he has them, for he is forever trying to keep them, and perfecting them in himself more and more. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 10, 4)
* I really believe that true humility consists –to a great extent– in being available for whatever the Lord desires to do with you, in being happy that he should do it, and in always considering yourselves unworthy to be called his servants. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 17, 6)
* The Lord sometimes gives one of those solid virtues that bring all the other virtues in its train; that is a very well-known fact. But I advise you once more, even if you think you possess it, to suspect that you may be mistaken; for the person who is truly humble is always doubtful about his own virtues; very often they seem more genuine and of greater worth when he sees them in his neighbors. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 38,9)
* The humble heart enjoys undisturbed peace of mind, while the proud one is swept by gusts of envy and resentment. (Imitation of Christ, I, 7, 3)
* Even if you have done great things, say: “We are useless servants.” Our natural tendency is the opposite: to show off as in a display window. We should be humble, sincerely humble. Humility is the most useful Christian virtue for us. (John Paul I, Speech, 6-IX-1978)
* When I pray, often I look at myself and say: “Lord, I don’t know why you listen to me, I don’t know why you are in me and inside me.” And I place myself, not within me, but on top of me; I stamp my foot on myself many times: “You are nothing, are worth nothing, can do nothing, know nothing, have nothing....” Yet, we are tabernacles of the Blessed Trinity, because the Holy Spirit is within our soul in grace; he makes our life not that of an animal, but that of a son of God. (Quote of St. J. Escrivá in A. Vazquez de Prada, El Fundador del Opus Dei)
* Your firm defense of the spirit and norms of the apostolate in which you work should never falter through false humility. That firmness is not pride: It’s the cardinal virtue of fortitude. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 610)
FOOTNOTE:
1. St. J. Escrivá, Human Virtues, p. 18.
* Avoid being bashful with God, as some people are, in the belief that they are humble. Yes; it would not be humility on your part if the King were to grant you a favor and you refused to accept it; humility is taking the favor, and being pleased with it, yet realizing how far you are from deserving it.
A sham humility it would be if I had the Emperor of Heaven and earth in my house, coming to it to grant me a favor and to delight in my company, and I were so “humble” that I would not answer his questions, or remain with him, or accept what he gave me, but left him alone. Fake humility, indeed, if he were to tell me to ask for what I wanted, and I were so “humble” that I preferred to remain poor and even let him go away, remaining uncommitted.
Have nothing to do with that kind of humility, daughters. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 28, 3)
* One must realize that humility is not a negative virtue. It does not deny, it affirms; truth is never a negation. There arises a subtle falsity when, under the appearances of humility, one denies what is evident and true.
It is not humility to believe that God does not give us gifts; St Teresa of Avila warns us: “Let us understand it perfectly, as it is, that God gives us gifts without our meriting them. Let us give thanks to God for this. Otherwise, we frighten the soul into thinking that it is not capable of receiving great gifts if, when God begins to give them, the soul begins to tremble in fear of becoming proud.”
It is evident that the essence of humility does not consist in despising oneself. No one could imagine for a moment that the Virgin Mary ever despised herself. Christ himself was humble and how could he have despised himself? Self-contempt is, at best, a consequence; it is an impulse of the heart stemming from acknowledgment of the truth that we are sinners, capable of any treachery, or any bitterness, of any baseness, of everything that is low and contemptible, if God does not sustain us by his grace.
Just as there is a deformation of humility that concerns the intelligence, rejecting the true, objective progress of the soul through the action of God, there is another deformation which concerns the will: conventionalism in conduct.
This defect stems from a divorce between thought and life. It is based on the belief that humility consists of acts, when, in reality, humility is reflected in acts, creating and shaping them.
This deformity always ends in a splitting of the personality, in hypocrisy, and consequently, in falsehood and pride. “Naturalness and simplicity are two wonderful human virtues which enable man to receive the message of Christ. And, on the contrary, everything which is entangled and complicated, which twists and turns around oneself, builds a wall which often prevents one from hearing the voice of our Lord.”#1
This false humility is the exact opposite of spontaneity; it is far from being an expression of truth. Those who always speak badly of themselves, keeping their eyes to the ground, those who are shy, those who are cowards, those who do not stand up for their rights (remember St. Paul’s declaration of Roman citizenship, Acts 22:25-29), those who cover themselves with insults and defamations–how often we are insulted when others tell us we are what we say we are–and manifest many other like traits of conduct, all those people are not humble and have nothing to do with humility; all their acts are mere theatrics.
Those under the influence of this false humility have a dissociation between their inner being and their external surface. The face they show to the world never expresses their real convictions; it is severed from their inner self, and owes its origin to purely artificial calculation. They pay attention only to appearances, to exterior behavior, but leave untouched the depths of their being, the source of all activity. This is hypocrisy, the basic sin of the Pharisees. (F. Suarez, Mary of Nazareth, 2)
* Let us flee from the false humility which is called comfort‑seeking. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 265)
* Those periods of depression, because you see your defects or because others discover them, have no foundation....
Ask for true humility. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 262)
* To be humble does not mean to feel anxiety or fear. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 264)
* You understand the work that is being carried out..., you have nothing against it (!). But you are very careful not to take part in it, and even more careful to ensure that others do not see or suspect you are lending a hand.
You told me that you were afraid that people might think you are better than you are! Is it not rather that you are afraid God and men might ask you to be more consistent? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 40)
* “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart...” The humility of Jesus!... What a lesson for you who are a poor earthenware vessel. He –always merciful– has raised you up, and made the light of the sun of grace shine upon your baseness, which has now been freely exalted. And you, how often you have covered your pride under a cloak of dignity or justice!... And how many chances to learn from the Master you have wasted by not knowing how to supernaturalize them! (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 261)
* It is Peter who speaks: “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answers: “You do not understand what I am doing now; you will understand it later.” Peter insists: “You will never wash my feet.” And Jesus explains: “If I do not wash your feet, you will have no part with me.” Simon Peter surrenders: “Lord, not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.”
Faced by the call to total self‑giving, complete and without any hesitation, we often oppose it with false modesty like Peter’s.... May we also be men with a heart like the Apostle’s! Peter allows no one to love Jesus more than he does. That love leads us to reply thus: “Here I am! Wash me, head, hands, and feet! Purify me completely, for I want to give myself to you without holding anything back.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 266)
* I quote from a letter: “I am enchanted by evangelical humility. But I rebel against the timid and thoughtless way some Christians shrink away. They discredit the Church. That atheist author must have had them in mind when he wrote that Christian morality is the morality of slaves.” In fact we are servants: servants raised to the rank of children of God, who do not wish to behave as men enslaved by their passions. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 267)
* It would be a very sad thing if anyone looking at the way Catholics in society behave, concluded that they were sheepish and easily imposed upon.
Never forget that our Master was, indeed is, perfectus Homo –perfect Man. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 421)
* Cassian relates how a young monk came to Abbot Serapion. He was making a great show of humility with the poverty of his worn-out habit and his self-contempt. He would never stop speaking badly of himself; he always sat down on the ground.
As customary, Abbot Serapion received each of the monks and gave them paternal advice. When the young monk came, the abbot encouraged him to stay in his cell, work, earn his bread, according to the rule of the monks, and stop idly going round the others’ cells.
The young monk resented the admonition so much that he externally showed his disgust. The abbot replied, “My son, why did you feel insulted and change countenance? Were you expecting us to tell you, `The holy man is the first accuser of himself (Prov 18:17); that is why he speaks badly of himself’? Did you want us to praise you, and take you for a holy man?”
* Fight courageously against that false humility –you should call it spirit of comfort– which stops you from behaving like a mature son of God. You must grow!
Are you not ashamed seeing that your elder brothers have years of dedicated work, and you are not yet able –you do not want to be able– to lift a finger to help them? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 627)
* That friend of ours with no false humility used to say: “I haven’t needed to learn how to forgive, because the Lord has taught me how to love.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 804)
* It seems incredible that a man like you –who say you know you’re nothing– should dare to place obstacles in the way of God’s grace.
Yet this is what you’re doing with your false humility, your “objectivity,” your pessimism. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 246)
* That false humility is laziness. Such a “humbleness” leads you to give up rights that really are duties. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 603)
* Humility –if you look up that word in the Latin dictionary, you will get a surprise. You will find that it means “lowness, meanness, insignificance, littleness of mind, baseness, abjectness,” and it had no other sense until you come on to the Christian authors. And yet how instinctively we recognize the worth of it today, even those who wouldn’t call themselves in any sense Christians!
To be sure, there are all sort of inferior substitutes for humility which owe little or nothing to the influence of Bethlehem. There is the mock modesty which prompts us to underrate our own achievements simply as a matter of good manners; we don’t want to make a bad impression of boastfulness on the people we meet. There is the calculating, affected humility; you demean yourself before important people because you know which side your bread is buttered.
But real humility, how it shines when it catches the light! The man who can take an affront and feel it is no more than he deserves; who takes it for granted that his successful rival was the better candidate; who can work to other men’s plans when they run contrary to his own advice, the advice which was not asked for, or went unregarded– how we admire such a man, even when we think that he carries his good qualities to a fault!
The reason for our admiration –the historical reason for our admiration– is because we have been told about a God who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and took upon himself the nature of a slave for our sakes. (R. Knox, The Effect of Christmas)
Some Qualities of True Humility
* Pay great attention, daughters, to this point that I shall now make: Thinking yourselves wicked may sometimes be humility and virtue, but it may also be a great temptation. I have had experience of this, so I know it is true.
Humility, however deep it may be, neither disquiets nor troubles nor disturbs the soul; it is accompanied by peace, joy, and tranquility. On realizing how wicked we are, we may sense that we deserve hell, and may be distressed by this; we may rightly think that everyone should hate us; we may not even dare to ask for mercy. Yet, if our humility is true, this distress is accompanied by an interior peace and joy of which we would not like to be deprived. Far from disturbing or depressing the soul, true humility enlarges it and makes it fit to serve God better.
The other kind of distress only disturbs and upsets the mind and troubles the soul. So grievous is it. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 39, 2)
* These two virtues, humility and detachment from self, it is true, have the property of hiding themselves from the one who possesses them; he never sees them nor can believe that he has any of them, even if he be told so. But he has them, for he is forever trying to keep them, and perfecting them in himself more and more. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 10, 4)
* I really believe that true humility consists –to a great extent– in being available for whatever the Lord desires to do with you, in being happy that he should do it, and in always considering yourselves unworthy to be called his servants. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 17, 6)
* The Lord sometimes gives one of those solid virtues that bring all the other virtues in its train; that is a very well-known fact. But I advise you once more, even if you think you possess it, to suspect that you may be mistaken; for the person who is truly humble is always doubtful about his own virtues; very often they seem more genuine and of greater worth when he sees them in his neighbors. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 38,9)
* The humble heart enjoys undisturbed peace of mind, while the proud one is swept by gusts of envy and resentment. (Imitation of Christ, I, 7, 3)
* Even if you have done great things, say: “We are useless servants.” Our natural tendency is the opposite: to show off as in a display window. We should be humble, sincerely humble. Humility is the most useful Christian virtue for us. (John Paul I, Speech, 6-IX-1978)
* When I pray, often I look at myself and say: “Lord, I don’t know why you listen to me, I don’t know why you are in me and inside me.” And I place myself, not within me, but on top of me; I stamp my foot on myself many times: “You are nothing, are worth nothing, can do nothing, know nothing, have nothing....” Yet, we are tabernacles of the Blessed Trinity, because the Holy Spirit is within our soul in grace; he makes our life not that of an animal, but that of a son of God. (Quote of St. J. Escrivá in A. Vazquez de Prada, El Fundador del Opus Dei)
* Your firm defense of the spirit and norms of the apostolate in which you work should never falter through false humility. That firmness is not pride: It’s the cardinal virtue of fortitude. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 610)
FOOTNOTE:
1. St. J. Escrivá, Human Virtues, p. 18.