Humility toward Neighbor
We must value in others all the natural and supernatural qualities that the Lord has endowed them with; we must admire these qualities without envy or jealousy.
We must pray for them and help them in whatever way we can. If advisable, we must practice fraternal correction; but we must disregard their defects, if it is not our duty to correct them.
It is easy to love our neighbor once the way to love has been opened by humility. The humble person will not be scandalized even by the obvious defects of others. He will be astonished at nothing; he will be able to understand everything.
* What happened to Christ happens to his followers. “All who want to live piously in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Tim 3:12). To live piously in Jesus is to develop what is divine in our souls. This straightway leads to conflict with the opposing elements:
(a) what is undivine in others (external conflict); and,
(b) what is undivine in ourselves (internal conflict).
Thus, we have to suffer from ourselves and also from others.
The internal conflict ceases only when there is perfect conformity in our souls with Jesus through the entire sacrifice of ourselves to God. Then what is divine will have completely invaded and taken possession of our souls. This is the peace–the crowning grace–prayed for in every Mass.
The external conflict will never cease until Jesus reigns absolutely over the world. This will be attained only at the end of time.
We are bound to suffer in our relations with others, because, to the extent that God has not possessed their souls, they will act on the basis of principles that St Paul calls carnal. These are principles of self-love and, therefore, of injustice; they cause wounds in others. To the extent that we are not for Christ, we too will act in a similar manner.
This natural world is the kingdom of darkness and of Satan, and, therefore, of disorder, conflict, and suffering.
To exist in the midst of this conflict is the condition of our fallen nature. It is irrational to rebel against it; it is irrational to expect that we will not feel the effects of it every day and every hour of the day.
It is proper to the virtue of humility not to give way to bitterness; not to resent the wounds we receive in our relations with others; but rather to maintain our composure without complaining or murmuring about our condition.
The saints exercise humility thus, after the manner and example of the divine Master. They look at everything that happens to them as being deserved; they look at it as being the logical outcome of things as they are.
Seeking order and justice themselves, the saints are not bitter when they encounter disorder and injustice in their world. While they strive to remedy it, they do not indulge in a passionate revolt against it. Their resistance to disorder is not a self-indulgent giving way to their own feelings of anger and bitterness. The saints do not allow the disorder they fight against to provoke disorder in themselves.
Is there no truce to this disorder, no period of peace possible? Yes, there is when what is divine in ourselves encounters what is divine in others; here there can be no conflict. God cannot be in opposition with himself. Between those in whom charity reigns there can be no opposition, no conflict. This was St Paul’s ambition for his followers: “I ... exhort you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all humility and mildness, with patience, supporting one another in charity, careful to keep the unity of the Spirit, in the bond of peace” (Eph 4:1-3).#1
REJOICE AT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S SUCCESS
We rejoice at the virtues and success of others; these give glory to God. We may desire to possess the spiritual goods (virtues) of our neighbor.
* We shall tell the good Christian by his detachment from himself, from his deeds, and by the good opinion he has about the actions or words of his neighbor. (St John Vianney, Sermon on Pride)
* The Lord upbraids our pride because we do not learn to appreciate a man for what he is; we only appreciate what is around him; we do not consider his interior worth, and fail to see the image of God in him.
A person proud of transient honors and attached to fleeting things does not esteem what is lasting and permanent in his neighbor. (St Gregory the Great, Hom. 28, on the Gospels)
* When they are in power, mediocre men –mediocre in mind and in Christian spirit– surround themselves with stupid people. Their vanity persuades them falsely that thus, they will never lose control.
Sensible men, however, surround themselves with learned people who live a clean life; through their help, these learned people become men who can really govern. Sensible men are not deceived by humility for, in making others great, they make themselves great. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 968)
HELPING YOUR NEIGHBOR
True humility is reflected in an attitude of service; out of charity, a Christian must give a hand to his brother to help him become better.
Humility leads us to listen to our neighbor and to respect his legitimate opinion.
If we see our neighbor committing some fault, instead of becoming indignant, we must pray for his repentance. At that moment we should realize that, were it not for God’s grace, we will be committing greater sins ourselves.
Humility and Charity
* These two virtues, humility and charity, are inseparable and indivisible; whoever is established in one necessarily acquires the other. Humility is a part of charity, as charity is part of humility.
If you look at actions that, if done without charity, the Apostle called barren, you will notice that these are also fruitless if done without humility (cf. 1 Cor 13:1-3).
And right so; what fruit can science coupled with pride yield? What conclusion faith with human glory? What result alms with ostentation? What merit martyrdom with conceit?
Humility and charity tend likewise to conquer pride; what has been said of one applies to the other. (St Ambrose, Epist., Lib. X, Ad Demetriadem)
* Humility is the dwelling place of charity. (St Augustine, On Virginity, 51)
* The most excellent way is that of love, but only the humble can walk along it. (St Augustine, Comment. on Ps 141)
* Humility preserves charity; pride destroys charity at once. Thus, the Lord did not say: “Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I raised from the sepulcher those who were four days dead, and expelled demons from the bodies of men; I cured their diseases and work other similar wonders,” but rather said: “Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart” (Mt 11:29). Those miracles were signs of Christ’s divinity; charity is kept secure with a humble and meek attitude; this is something anyone can do. (St Augustine, Comment. on the Ep. to the Galatians)
* To be good and humble it is necessary to be in the right position before God, before our neighbor, and before ourselves.
We have seen how to behave with regard to God. Then there is our neighbor.... But our neighbor is at three levels: some are above us; some are at our level; some are below.
Above, there are our parents. The catechism says: Respect them, love them, obey them. Giving them food and lodging is not enough, there is the heart; we must think of the heart of our old people.
And besides our parents, there is the state, there are superiors. May the Pope recommend obedience? Bossuet, who was a great bishop, wrote: “Where no one commands, everyone commands. Where everyone commands, no one commands any longer; there is only chaos.” So let us be humble and respect those who are our superiors.
Then there is the second level of humility with our equals. Here, there are two virtues to observe: justice and charity. But charity is the soul of justice. We must love our neighbor, the Lord recommended it so much. I always recommend not only great acts of charity, but little ones. I read in a book, written by Carnegie, an American, entitled How To Make Friends, the following little episode.
A lady had four men in the house: her husband, a brother, and two grown-up sons. She alone had to do the shopping, the washing, the ironing and the cooking: everything all alone. One Sunday they come home. The table is laid for dinner, but on the plate there is only a handful of hay. “Oh!” the others protest and say: “What! Hay!” And she says, “No, everything is ready. Let me tell you: I prepare food; I keep you clean; I do everything. Never once have you said: `That was a good dinner you made for us.’ Say something! I’m not made of stone.”
People work more willingly when their work is recognized. There are the little acts of charity. In our home we all have someone who is waiting for a compliment.
The third level is that of those who are smaller than we are; they are the children, the sick, even those who do not believe in God. I formed the idea that the unbelievers often combat not God, but the mistaken idea they have of God. How much mercy it is necessary to have! And even with those who err.... (John Paul I, General Audience, September 6, 1978)
* Do you feel as if goodness and absolute truth have been entrusted to you, and that, therefore, you have been invested with a personal title or right to uproot evil at all costs?
With that approach, you will never solve anything; only through Love and with love will you go anywhere; remember that Love has forgiven you and still forgives you so much. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 824)
* How very insistent the Apostle Saint John was in preaching the mandatum novum –the new commandment that we should love one another.
I would fall on my knees, without putting on any act –this is what my heart dictates– and ask you, for the love of God, to love one another, to help one another, to reconcile with one another, to know how to forgive one another.
Thus, reject all pride, be compassionate, show charity; help each other with prayer and sincere friendship. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 454)
Touchiness, Concern over One’s Rights
Humility is perfected by simplicity. Manifestations of lack of simplicity are: Touchiness, human respects (What will they think?), bad stubbornness in the interior life (one becomes closed as a clam), desiring always to give a good impression, to please others at all cost.
We must oppose those traits of our temperament, those personal inclinations, that impede our responding fully to all that God asks of us.
* Why do you always think that everything they say has a hidden meaning? By being so touchy, you are limiting the action of grace all the time. And do not doubt that grace comes to you by means of those who fight to match their deeds to Christ’s ideal. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, 711)
* They ignored what you call your “rights,” which I translated for you as your “right to be proud.” What a grotesque figure you cut.
Your attacker was powerful; you could not defend yourself; and you felt the pain of a hundred blows.
And despite it all, you have not learned to humble yourself.
Now your conscience accuses you; it calls you proud ... and cowardly.
Give thanks to God because you are beginning to catch a glimpse of your “duty to be humble.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, 698)
* Don’t be touchy. The least thing offends you. People have to weigh their words to talk to you even about the most trivial matter.
Don’t feel hurt if I tell you that you are ... unbearable. Unless you change, you’ll never be of any use. (J. Escrivá, The Way, 43)
The following quotation is directed to a religious community primarily, not to a Christian living in the middle of the world. We all should be patient and fulfill our duties in earnest; nevertheless, an ordinary Christian should claim his civil rights using legitimate means.
* I often tell you, sisters, and now I want to leave it in writing so that you will not forget, that everyone in this house–and for that matter anyone who wants to be perfect–must flee a thousand miles from saying: “I was right;” “They had no right to do this to me;” “The person who treated me like this was not right.” May God deliver us from such a false idea of rights!
Do you think that it was right for our good Jesus to suffer so many offenses? That those who heaped them on Him were right? And that they had any right to do Him those wrongs?
If anyone here is not willing to endure the Cross–I do not know what she is doing in a monastery–if anyone wants to bear only the crosses that seem reasonable, she should go away from us; there outside, she will not have these rights safeguarded either.
May God keep us from being like that! Let the sister who thinks she is counted the least among all, consider herself the happiest and most fortunate, as indeed she is, if she takes it as she should. She will not be lacking honor either in this life or in the next.
Let us, my daughters, in some small degree, imitate the great humility of the most sacred Virgin. I say, “in some degree,” because, however much we may seem to humble ourselves, we fall short of being the daughters of such a Mother, and the brides of such a Spouse, our Lord Jesus.
If, then, the thoughts I have described are not sternly checked, what seems nothing today, will perhaps be a venial sin tomorrow. This sin is difficult to digest; if you don’t fight it, soon it will have company. That is a very bad thing for a community. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 13, 1-3)
Humility and Service
All earthly ambitions must take second place to a continual concern of serving. Nothing is worthwhile, nothing has any substance, nothing is worth the effort in comparison to the mission of serving Christ our Lord, and serving him in others.
* The world admire only the spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of hidden and silent sacrifice. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 185)
* In your interior life, have you taken the time to consider the beauty of serving with actual willingness? (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 293)
* The greater you think you are, the humbler you must be; and seek not only your own interest, but that of the others. (St Clement, Letter to the Corinthians, 46)
* The husband ought not to seek only his own interests, but also those of his wife; and she, those of her husband. Parents must look after the interests of their children, and these in turn must look after the interests of their parents.
The family is the only community in which man is loved for himself, for what he is, and not for what he has.... Respect this fundamental norm; thus, nothing should be done out of spirit of rivalry, or for vainglory, but rather through humility, because of love, as the Apostle himself teaches. And this love, which is opened up to others, makes members of the family true servants of the domestic church, where each and every one gives life to this love with an urgent search for good and happiness. (John Paul II, Homily of the Mass for families, Nov. 2, 1982)
* Being God and Lord, he is not ashamed of being called our Father. What about us? Are we available even to those of our own level? (St Gregory of Nazianzen, Dissertation 14)
* If the Lord has given you some talent or skill, you should not just enjoy it yourself or boast about it; you should use it charitably in the service of your neighbor.
And what better occasion than now will you find to serve, since you live with so many souls who share the same ideal as yourself? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 422)
* You feel you have been chosen by God to sustain others and to co‑redeem –I say, don’t forget that you are ... wretched and utterly so. Now, your humility should lead you to place yourself under the feet –at the service– of all. This is how the foundations of a building are set.
But foundations need to be strong. Fortitude is an indispensable virtue for someone who has to sustain or encourage others.
Say this to Jesus with determination: “May I never, through false humility, stop practicing the cardinal virtue of fortitude. Make me know how to separate, my God, the dross from the gold.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 473)
* If you feel an impulse to be a leader, this should be your aim: to be the last among your brothers and the first among all others. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 365)
* Positions–high or low–what does it matter to you? You have come, you tell me, to be useful, to serve, with complete availability. Behave accordingly. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 705)
Instruments in the Apostolate
The Lord has sent us like the servants of the parable to share in his work of redemption; he has made us his instruments to save men. And God wants to reward our cooperation even if the fruit is all his. Thus, to be effective, we need to be very united to God; and this requires humility.
The apostolate of a lay person is based on friendship with his peers. Without humility, our effectiveness will be in jeopardy; pride will set us apart from the others and prevent our understanding and helping the others.
* God always uses humble people as his instruments. (St John Chrysostom, Hom. on St Matthew, 15)
* “Vain is the builder’s toil, if the house is not of the Lord’s building” (Ps 127:1). The Lord is the real builder of the house. There are many working in the construction, but if the Lord is not building, the bricklayers’ toil is useless.
Who are the bricklayers? All who spread the word of God in the Church and administer God’s sacraments. We all labor, all work, all build; before us, others have also labored, worked, and built; but if the Lord is not the real builder, the workers’ effort is useless. (St Augustine, Comment. on Ps 126)
* Looking at the immense panorama of souls who are awaiting us, and being struck by the wonderful and awesome responsibility before us, you may have asked yourself, as I have: “Can I contribute anything, when the task is so vast? I, who am so puny?”
Open, then, the Gospel and contemplate how Jesus cures the man born blind: with mud made from the dust of the earth and saliva. This is the medicine that brings light to those blind eyes!
That is what you and I are. Though fully aware of our weaknesses and our worthlessness, with the grace of God and our good will, we can be medicine that gives light, that provides strength to others and to ourselves. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 370)
* An apostolic soul said: “Jesus, take care of it all; you know what needs to be done.... I am not working for myself.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 371)
* You insist on doing things your own way, and so your work is barren.
Obey; be docile. Each cog in a machine must be put in its place. If not, the machine stops, or its parts get damaged. It will surely not produce anything, or if it does, then very little. In the same way, a man or a woman outside his or her proper field of action will be more of a hindrance than an instrument of apostolate. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 666)
* When you really trample on your own self and live for others, you will become a good instrument in God’s hands.
He called –and is calling– his disciples, commanding them ut eatis! –”Go and seek all men.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 915)
* Three important things that help draw people to God:
- To forget about yourself, and think only of the glory of your Father God;
- To subject your will filially to the Will of Heaven, as Jesus Christ taught you;
- To follow with docility the lights of the Holy Spirit. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 793)
* Jesus says: “He who hears you hears me” (Lk 10:16).
Do you still think it is your words that convince people? Don’t forget either that the Holy Spirit can carry out his plans with the most useless instrument. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 671)
* “Don’t help the Holy Spirit so much!” a friend of mine said, jokingly but sounding very scared.
I answered: I think we “help him” very little. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 120)
* The way Jesus called the first twelve could not have been simpler: “Come and follow me.” The human knowledge of those first apostles was very poor, and yet what an impact they made on those who listened to them!
This consideration should fit you like a glove; you who are always looking for excuses not to keep on with your task.
Never forget this: It is He who keeps on doing the work through each one of us. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 189)
* When you consider how many people do not take advantage of that wonderful opportunity, and let Jesus pass by, think: Where did this clear calling –so providential– that showed me my way come from?
Meditate upon this every day: An apostle always has to be another Christ, Christ himself. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 200)
* A sure way to be humble is to contemplate how, even without talents, fame, or fortune, we can be effective instruments if we go to the Holy Spirit so that he may grant us his gifts.
The apostles, though they had been taught by Jesus for three years, fled in terror from the enemies of Christ. But after Pentecost, they let themselves be flogged and imprisoned, and ended up giving their lives in witness to their faith. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 283)
* Although you don’t amount to much, God has made use of you, and he continues to make use of you to perform fruitful works for his glory.
Don’t put on airs. Think what an instrument of iron or steel would say about itself, when a craftsman uses it to set golden jewelry with precious stones? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 285)
* What is of more value, a pound weight of gold or a pound of copper?... And yet in many cases, copper is more useful and better than gold. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 286)
* Your vocation –God’s calling– is to direct, to draw others, to serve, to lead. If through a false or ill‑conceived humility you isolate yourself, all huddled up in a corner, you are failing in your duty of being a divine instrument. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 287)
* When the Lord makes use of you to pour his grace into souls, remember that you are only the wrapping round the gift, the paper that is torn up and thrown away. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 288)
* It is true that some who become enthusiastic leave later on. Don’t worry: They are the needle God makes use of to draw the thread through the cloth.
Oh, and pray for them, because perhaps one can manage to get them to keep giving an impetus to others. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 348)
* When you are preparing for a work of apostolate, make your own these words of a man who was seeking God: “Today I start to preach a retreat for priests. Would that all of us draw profit from it –but, first of all, myself!”
And later: “I have been on this retreat for several days now. There are a hundred and twenty on it. I am sure that our Lord will do good work in our souls.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 662)
* In their apostolate, the children of God have to be like those great lighting systems that fill the world with light, even if the lamp is not seen. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 670)
* Dear Jesus, if I am to be an apostle, you will have to make me very humble.
Everything the sun touches is bathed in light. Lord, fill me with your clarity, make me share in your divinity so that I may identify my will with your adorable Will and become the instrument you wish me to be. Give me the madness of humiliation you underwent, which led you to be born poor, to work in obscurity, to the shame of dying sewn with nails to a piece of wood, to your self‑effacement in the Blessed Sacrament.
May I know myself; may I know myself and know you. I will then never lose sight of my nothingness. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 273)
Fraternal Correction
We work surrounded by human beings with defects and failings. Yet we must not be scandalized by anything, or be discouraged by other people’s shortcomings –for we also have defects. Humility leads us to understand, to forgive, and, if opportune, to help with fraternal correction.
* If a brother commits some fault that needs correction, he should be corrected. This must be done with charity and humility; the medicine applied to a sick person –perhaps with just a slight fever– should not cause in him a worse disease: blindness. (Cassian, Institutiones, 8, 5)
* The Lord did not prohibit us from denouncing and correcting the faults of others; he merely forbade us to minimize and forget our own sins when correcting those of our neighbor. Thus, we should first examine our own defects carefully; then, we may correct those of the others. (St John Chrysostom, Catena Aurea, 1, p. 421)
* Fraternal correction results in improvement for the humble, but becomes intolerable for the proud. (St Cyril, Catena Aurea, 6, p. 52)
* When you have to make a fraternal correction, do it with great kindness –with charity– in what you say and in the way you say it, for at that moment you are God’s instrument. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 147)
* A friend of yours, loyally and charitably, points out to you, on his own, certain things that tend to mar your behavior. You are convinced that he is mistaken; that he does not understand you. If that false conviction –born of your pride– remains, you will never change.
I pity you; you lack the determination to seek holiness. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 707)
* What harm can it do, other people knowing about your weaknesses and correcting you? Often it’s the best possible thing for you; it helps to keep you humble. (Imitation of Christ, II, 2, 1)
CONSIDERING ONESELF INFERIOR
Humility is based on reverence toward God; through that reverence we submit ourselves to those in authority. Humility demands our subjection to God directly, and our subjection to authority only on account of God.
“In humility, esteem the other person better than yourself” (Phil 2:3). By judging ourselves severely, and others leniently, we learn to consider ourselves inferior to others.
* We find it hard to be humble if we are conscious of the possession of any gifts; we have an incurable tendency to identify them with ourselves and rob God of his title to them. We shall learn to hold our gifts without harm to ourselves if we come to look upon them objectively, if I might be permitted to use the term.
What is the meaning of this? To hold our gifts objectively is to hold them as something independent of ourselves; to regard them with the same esteem in others as in ourselves. If gifts arouse in us the same emotions when seen in others as when they are in our own possession, then we have a correct attitude toward them.
Humility demands our subjection to God directly, and our subjection to man only on account of God. Loss of dignity would be involved in submitting ourselves to man as such, by reason of his qualities, personality, or our own weakness. This would be servility. Nothing is so opposed to servility as humility, and nothing is so protective of dignity.
Humility is based on reverence toward God, and it is through that sense of reverence that we submit ourselves to what is divine, whether in persons or in the order of things around us. Our attitude of respect and submission is dictated by our sense of the presence of God in men and things. Thus, we maintain our independence of men and owe subjection only to God; this is perfect freedom and true dignity.
Our obedience will be faithful, prompt and joyous, without trace of servility, if we look at the authority exercised by superiors as being exercised for God and coming from him; if we execute their directives influenced by this consideration solely. The superior who looks at his authority in the same way can be firm in demanding unquestioning submission, without lacking humility.
We can and should always be dignified, through awareness of the divine in ourselves, realizing that nothing from outside can harm or impair our dignity as children of God. On the contrary, all unjust ill treatment serves to enhance this dignity, for it develops the divine in us. Hence, if we are really humble, cherishing only what is of God, and not treasuring what is of self, we can never be humiliated. Our Lord suffered untold humiliations but never felt humiliated; in the midst of all he endured, he maintained his divine calm, dignity, and majesty.#2
* You say that he is full of defects. Very well ... but, apart from the fact that people who are perfect are found only in heaven, you too have defects, yet others put up with you and, what is more, hold you in esteem. That is because they love you with the love Jesus Christ had for his own, and they had a fair number of shortcomings.
Learn from this. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 758)
* It is very helpful, for keeping ourselves in greater humility, that others know and correct our defects.
When a man humbles himself because of his defects, he sows peace around him, and easily satisfies those who are angry with him.
God protects and delivers the humble man; He listens to him; He loves and comforts him; He bestows abundant graces on him; and, after the humiliation, He raises him up to glory. God reveals His secrets to the humble, and sweetly draws and invites him to Himself.
The humble man remains in great peace in the midst of reproach, for he depends on God, and not on the world.
Do not think that you have made any progress if you don’t consider yourself inferior to all. (Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, book 2, ch. 2)
* Each one of you should consider his friends wiser and holier than himself; each one of you should be convinced that true and perfect discretion is more easily found in somebody else’s judgment than in his own. (Cassian, Collationes, 16, 11)
* The defects you see in others are perhaps your own. Si oculus tuus fuerit simplex ... ‑ If your eye is clear, the whole of the body will be lit up; whereas if the eye is diseased, the whole of the body will be in darkness.
Moreover, “how is it that you can see the speck of dust in your brother’s eye, and are not aware of the beam that is in your own?”
Examine yourself. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 328)
“I acknowledge my transgression,” says David (Ps 51:3; cf. 2 Sam 12:13). If I admit my fault, then you, Lord, will pardon it.
Let us never assume that if we live good lives we will be without sin; our lives should be praised only when we continue to beg for pardon. But men are hopeless creatures, and the less they concentrate on their own sins, the more interested they become in the sins of others. They seek to criticize, not to correct. Unable to excuse themselves, they are ready to accuse others. This was not the way that David showed us how to pray and make amends to God, when he said: “I acknowledge my transgression, and my sin is ever before me.” He did not concentrate on others’ sins; he turned his thoughts upon himself. He did not merely stroke the surface, but he plunged inside and went deep down within himself, and therefore was not arrogant in asking to be spared. (St Augustine, Sermon, 19)
* Claim nothing for yourself, think of others kindly and with admiration; that is the height of wisdom and perfection. Never think of yourself better than the next man, however glaring his faults, however grievous his offenses; you are in good dispositions now, but how will they last? Tell yourself, “We are frail, all of us, but none so frail as I.” (Imitation of Christ, 1, 2, 4)
* Sisters, be very careful about your thoughts, especially if they have to do with precedence. May God, by his Passion, keep us from expressing, or dwelling upon, such thoughts as these: “But I am her senior [in the Order];” “But I am older;” “But I have worked harder;” “But that other sister is being better treated than I am.” If these thoughts come, you must quickly reject them. If you dwell on them, or introduce them into your conversation, they will create havoc in your souls, like the worst plague. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 12, 4)
* If you receive some insults, bear them patiently; this will help you to increase your love for the person despising you. This is the acid test for knowing if a person is humble and holy. He might work miracles, but if he feels disgusted, he is like a reed swaying in the breeze.
Father B. Alvarez used to say that the time of humiliations is the time to acquire treasures. You will gain more by bearing an insult peacefully than by ten days fasting with bread and water.
The humiliations we inflict upon ourselves in front of others are good; to accept the humiliations we did not expect from others is better; here, there is less of ourselves and more of God–thus, greater profit if we endure them.
What sort of Christian is one incapable of enduring contempt for love of God? How much scorn has Jesus suffered for us: slaps, mockeries, scourges, spittle on his face. If we really love Jesus Christ, we will not feel indignant about humiliations, but will rejoice over them, seeing ourselves despised as Jesus was. (St Alphonsus de Liguori, Spiritual Works)
* Having a position of high authority, you would be imprudent to interpret the silence of those who listen to you as a sign of acquiescence. Ask yourself whether you allow them to make suggestions, or whether you take offense if they actually let you know what they think. You must change your ways. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 919)
* Make sure that your good intentions are always accompanied by humility. For good intentions often go together with harsh judgments, almost amounting to an incapacity to yield, and a certain personal, national, or sectarian pride. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 722)
* You make such a mess of your own life; how can you be surprised if other people are not angels? (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 844)
* Jesus, may I be the last in everything ... and the first in Love. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 430)
* If you have so many defects, why are you surprised to find defects in others? (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 446)
* Those who enjoy privilege –thanks to money, ancestry, rank, position, or intelligence– and abuse it by humiliating those who are less fortunate show that they are fatuous and proud. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 702)
* You comment and criticize. Without you, it seems, nothing is done properly.
Don’t be angry if I tell you that you are behaving like an arrogant despot. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 706)
* For as long as you are convinced that others should always live as if they depended on you, and for as long as you delay the decision to serve –to hide yourself and disappear from view– your dealings with your brothers, colleagues, and friends will be a constant source of disappointment, ill humor, and pride. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 712)
* Anyone who has a task of government should bear in mind that humility is his best exercise. A physician in charge of several wounded is there to cure them all, without discrimination; his position should not make him domineering. Likewise, one in charge of curing the souls of his brothers is there to serve them; he must discharge his assignment in earnest, because he will have to give an account of each of his brothers. Thus, the greatest should become like the lowest. (St Basil, Catena Aurea, 6, p. 444)
* If your imagination bubbles over with thoughts about yourself; if it creates fanciful situations and circumstances that would not normally find a place in your way; then these will foolishly distract you; they will dampen your ardor and separate you from the presence of God. This is vanity.
If your imagination revolves around others, you will easily fall into the defect of passing judgment, when this is not your responsibility; you will interpret their behavior not at all objectively but in a mean way. This is rash judgment.
If your imagination concerns itself with your own talents and ways of speaking, or with the general admiration that you inspire in others, then you will be in danger of losing your rectitude of intention, and of providing fodder for your pride.
Generally, letting your imagination loose is a waste of time, and, if it is not controlled, it opens the door to a host of voluntary temptations.
Do not leave off the practice of interior mortification for even a single day! (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 135)
* For all your learning, all your fame, all your eloquence and power, if you’re not humble, you’re worth nothing. Cut out that ego that dominates you so completely –root it out. God will help you. And then you’ll be able to begin to work for Christ in the lowest place in his army of apostles. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 602)
* I suffered when I detected their good opinion of me; for I knew myself too well. (St Teresa, Life, 7, 1)
We must pray for them and help them in whatever way we can. If advisable, we must practice fraternal correction; but we must disregard their defects, if it is not our duty to correct them.
It is easy to love our neighbor once the way to love has been opened by humility. The humble person will not be scandalized even by the obvious defects of others. He will be astonished at nothing; he will be able to understand everything.
* What happened to Christ happens to his followers. “All who want to live piously in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Tim 3:12). To live piously in Jesus is to develop what is divine in our souls. This straightway leads to conflict with the opposing elements:
(a) what is undivine in others (external conflict); and,
(b) what is undivine in ourselves (internal conflict).
Thus, we have to suffer from ourselves and also from others.
The internal conflict ceases only when there is perfect conformity in our souls with Jesus through the entire sacrifice of ourselves to God. Then what is divine will have completely invaded and taken possession of our souls. This is the peace–the crowning grace–prayed for in every Mass.
The external conflict will never cease until Jesus reigns absolutely over the world. This will be attained only at the end of time.
We are bound to suffer in our relations with others, because, to the extent that God has not possessed their souls, they will act on the basis of principles that St Paul calls carnal. These are principles of self-love and, therefore, of injustice; they cause wounds in others. To the extent that we are not for Christ, we too will act in a similar manner.
This natural world is the kingdom of darkness and of Satan, and, therefore, of disorder, conflict, and suffering.
To exist in the midst of this conflict is the condition of our fallen nature. It is irrational to rebel against it; it is irrational to expect that we will not feel the effects of it every day and every hour of the day.
It is proper to the virtue of humility not to give way to bitterness; not to resent the wounds we receive in our relations with others; but rather to maintain our composure without complaining or murmuring about our condition.
The saints exercise humility thus, after the manner and example of the divine Master. They look at everything that happens to them as being deserved; they look at it as being the logical outcome of things as they are.
Seeking order and justice themselves, the saints are not bitter when they encounter disorder and injustice in their world. While they strive to remedy it, they do not indulge in a passionate revolt against it. Their resistance to disorder is not a self-indulgent giving way to their own feelings of anger and bitterness. The saints do not allow the disorder they fight against to provoke disorder in themselves.
Is there no truce to this disorder, no period of peace possible? Yes, there is when what is divine in ourselves encounters what is divine in others; here there can be no conflict. God cannot be in opposition with himself. Between those in whom charity reigns there can be no opposition, no conflict. This was St Paul’s ambition for his followers: “I ... exhort you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all humility and mildness, with patience, supporting one another in charity, careful to keep the unity of the Spirit, in the bond of peace” (Eph 4:1-3).#1
REJOICE AT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S SUCCESS
We rejoice at the virtues and success of others; these give glory to God. We may desire to possess the spiritual goods (virtues) of our neighbor.
* We shall tell the good Christian by his detachment from himself, from his deeds, and by the good opinion he has about the actions or words of his neighbor. (St John Vianney, Sermon on Pride)
* The Lord upbraids our pride because we do not learn to appreciate a man for what he is; we only appreciate what is around him; we do not consider his interior worth, and fail to see the image of God in him.
A person proud of transient honors and attached to fleeting things does not esteem what is lasting and permanent in his neighbor. (St Gregory the Great, Hom. 28, on the Gospels)
* When they are in power, mediocre men –mediocre in mind and in Christian spirit– surround themselves with stupid people. Their vanity persuades them falsely that thus, they will never lose control.
Sensible men, however, surround themselves with learned people who live a clean life; through their help, these learned people become men who can really govern. Sensible men are not deceived by humility for, in making others great, they make themselves great. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 968)
HELPING YOUR NEIGHBOR
True humility is reflected in an attitude of service; out of charity, a Christian must give a hand to his brother to help him become better.
Humility leads us to listen to our neighbor and to respect his legitimate opinion.
If we see our neighbor committing some fault, instead of becoming indignant, we must pray for his repentance. At that moment we should realize that, were it not for God’s grace, we will be committing greater sins ourselves.
Humility and Charity
* These two virtues, humility and charity, are inseparable and indivisible; whoever is established in one necessarily acquires the other. Humility is a part of charity, as charity is part of humility.
If you look at actions that, if done without charity, the Apostle called barren, you will notice that these are also fruitless if done without humility (cf. 1 Cor 13:1-3).
And right so; what fruit can science coupled with pride yield? What conclusion faith with human glory? What result alms with ostentation? What merit martyrdom with conceit?
Humility and charity tend likewise to conquer pride; what has been said of one applies to the other. (St Ambrose, Epist., Lib. X, Ad Demetriadem)
* Humility is the dwelling place of charity. (St Augustine, On Virginity, 51)
* The most excellent way is that of love, but only the humble can walk along it. (St Augustine, Comment. on Ps 141)
* Humility preserves charity; pride destroys charity at once. Thus, the Lord did not say: “Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I raised from the sepulcher those who were four days dead, and expelled demons from the bodies of men; I cured their diseases and work other similar wonders,” but rather said: “Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart” (Mt 11:29). Those miracles were signs of Christ’s divinity; charity is kept secure with a humble and meek attitude; this is something anyone can do. (St Augustine, Comment. on the Ep. to the Galatians)
* To be good and humble it is necessary to be in the right position before God, before our neighbor, and before ourselves.
We have seen how to behave with regard to God. Then there is our neighbor.... But our neighbor is at three levels: some are above us; some are at our level; some are below.
Above, there are our parents. The catechism says: Respect them, love them, obey them. Giving them food and lodging is not enough, there is the heart; we must think of the heart of our old people.
And besides our parents, there is the state, there are superiors. May the Pope recommend obedience? Bossuet, who was a great bishop, wrote: “Where no one commands, everyone commands. Where everyone commands, no one commands any longer; there is only chaos.” So let us be humble and respect those who are our superiors.
Then there is the second level of humility with our equals. Here, there are two virtues to observe: justice and charity. But charity is the soul of justice. We must love our neighbor, the Lord recommended it so much. I always recommend not only great acts of charity, but little ones. I read in a book, written by Carnegie, an American, entitled How To Make Friends, the following little episode.
A lady had four men in the house: her husband, a brother, and two grown-up sons. She alone had to do the shopping, the washing, the ironing and the cooking: everything all alone. One Sunday they come home. The table is laid for dinner, but on the plate there is only a handful of hay. “Oh!” the others protest and say: “What! Hay!” And she says, “No, everything is ready. Let me tell you: I prepare food; I keep you clean; I do everything. Never once have you said: `That was a good dinner you made for us.’ Say something! I’m not made of stone.”
People work more willingly when their work is recognized. There are the little acts of charity. In our home we all have someone who is waiting for a compliment.
The third level is that of those who are smaller than we are; they are the children, the sick, even those who do not believe in God. I formed the idea that the unbelievers often combat not God, but the mistaken idea they have of God. How much mercy it is necessary to have! And even with those who err.... (John Paul I, General Audience, September 6, 1978)
* Do you feel as if goodness and absolute truth have been entrusted to you, and that, therefore, you have been invested with a personal title or right to uproot evil at all costs?
With that approach, you will never solve anything; only through Love and with love will you go anywhere; remember that Love has forgiven you and still forgives you so much. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 824)
* How very insistent the Apostle Saint John was in preaching the mandatum novum –the new commandment that we should love one another.
I would fall on my knees, without putting on any act –this is what my heart dictates– and ask you, for the love of God, to love one another, to help one another, to reconcile with one another, to know how to forgive one another.
Thus, reject all pride, be compassionate, show charity; help each other with prayer and sincere friendship. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 454)
Touchiness, Concern over One’s Rights
Humility is perfected by simplicity. Manifestations of lack of simplicity are: Touchiness, human respects (What will they think?), bad stubbornness in the interior life (one becomes closed as a clam), desiring always to give a good impression, to please others at all cost.
We must oppose those traits of our temperament, those personal inclinations, that impede our responding fully to all that God asks of us.
* Why do you always think that everything they say has a hidden meaning? By being so touchy, you are limiting the action of grace all the time. And do not doubt that grace comes to you by means of those who fight to match their deeds to Christ’s ideal. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, 711)
* They ignored what you call your “rights,” which I translated for you as your “right to be proud.” What a grotesque figure you cut.
Your attacker was powerful; you could not defend yourself; and you felt the pain of a hundred blows.
And despite it all, you have not learned to humble yourself.
Now your conscience accuses you; it calls you proud ... and cowardly.
Give thanks to God because you are beginning to catch a glimpse of your “duty to be humble.” (J. Escrivá, Furrow, 698)
* Don’t be touchy. The least thing offends you. People have to weigh their words to talk to you even about the most trivial matter.
Don’t feel hurt if I tell you that you are ... unbearable. Unless you change, you’ll never be of any use. (J. Escrivá, The Way, 43)
The following quotation is directed to a religious community primarily, not to a Christian living in the middle of the world. We all should be patient and fulfill our duties in earnest; nevertheless, an ordinary Christian should claim his civil rights using legitimate means.
* I often tell you, sisters, and now I want to leave it in writing so that you will not forget, that everyone in this house–and for that matter anyone who wants to be perfect–must flee a thousand miles from saying: “I was right;” “They had no right to do this to me;” “The person who treated me like this was not right.” May God deliver us from such a false idea of rights!
Do you think that it was right for our good Jesus to suffer so many offenses? That those who heaped them on Him were right? And that they had any right to do Him those wrongs?
If anyone here is not willing to endure the Cross–I do not know what she is doing in a monastery–if anyone wants to bear only the crosses that seem reasonable, she should go away from us; there outside, she will not have these rights safeguarded either.
May God keep us from being like that! Let the sister who thinks she is counted the least among all, consider herself the happiest and most fortunate, as indeed she is, if she takes it as she should. She will not be lacking honor either in this life or in the next.
Let us, my daughters, in some small degree, imitate the great humility of the most sacred Virgin. I say, “in some degree,” because, however much we may seem to humble ourselves, we fall short of being the daughters of such a Mother, and the brides of such a Spouse, our Lord Jesus.
If, then, the thoughts I have described are not sternly checked, what seems nothing today, will perhaps be a venial sin tomorrow. This sin is difficult to digest; if you don’t fight it, soon it will have company. That is a very bad thing for a community. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 13, 1-3)
Humility and Service
All earthly ambitions must take second place to a continual concern of serving. Nothing is worthwhile, nothing has any substance, nothing is worth the effort in comparison to the mission of serving Christ our Lord, and serving him in others.
* The world admire only the spectacular sacrifice, because it does not realize the value of hidden and silent sacrifice. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 185)
* In your interior life, have you taken the time to consider the beauty of serving with actual willingness? (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 293)
* The greater you think you are, the humbler you must be; and seek not only your own interest, but that of the others. (St Clement, Letter to the Corinthians, 46)
* The husband ought not to seek only his own interests, but also those of his wife; and she, those of her husband. Parents must look after the interests of their children, and these in turn must look after the interests of their parents.
The family is the only community in which man is loved for himself, for what he is, and not for what he has.... Respect this fundamental norm; thus, nothing should be done out of spirit of rivalry, or for vainglory, but rather through humility, because of love, as the Apostle himself teaches. And this love, which is opened up to others, makes members of the family true servants of the domestic church, where each and every one gives life to this love with an urgent search for good and happiness. (John Paul II, Homily of the Mass for families, Nov. 2, 1982)
* Being God and Lord, he is not ashamed of being called our Father. What about us? Are we available even to those of our own level? (St Gregory of Nazianzen, Dissertation 14)
* If the Lord has given you some talent or skill, you should not just enjoy it yourself or boast about it; you should use it charitably in the service of your neighbor.
And what better occasion than now will you find to serve, since you live with so many souls who share the same ideal as yourself? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 422)
* You feel you have been chosen by God to sustain others and to co‑redeem –I say, don’t forget that you are ... wretched and utterly so. Now, your humility should lead you to place yourself under the feet –at the service– of all. This is how the foundations of a building are set.
But foundations need to be strong. Fortitude is an indispensable virtue for someone who has to sustain or encourage others.
Say this to Jesus with determination: “May I never, through false humility, stop practicing the cardinal virtue of fortitude. Make me know how to separate, my God, the dross from the gold.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 473)
* If you feel an impulse to be a leader, this should be your aim: to be the last among your brothers and the first among all others. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 365)
* Positions–high or low–what does it matter to you? You have come, you tell me, to be useful, to serve, with complete availability. Behave accordingly. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 705)
Instruments in the Apostolate
The Lord has sent us like the servants of the parable to share in his work of redemption; he has made us his instruments to save men. And God wants to reward our cooperation even if the fruit is all his. Thus, to be effective, we need to be very united to God; and this requires humility.
The apostolate of a lay person is based on friendship with his peers. Without humility, our effectiveness will be in jeopardy; pride will set us apart from the others and prevent our understanding and helping the others.
* God always uses humble people as his instruments. (St John Chrysostom, Hom. on St Matthew, 15)
* “Vain is the builder’s toil, if the house is not of the Lord’s building” (Ps 127:1). The Lord is the real builder of the house. There are many working in the construction, but if the Lord is not building, the bricklayers’ toil is useless.
Who are the bricklayers? All who spread the word of God in the Church and administer God’s sacraments. We all labor, all work, all build; before us, others have also labored, worked, and built; but if the Lord is not the real builder, the workers’ effort is useless. (St Augustine, Comment. on Ps 126)
* Looking at the immense panorama of souls who are awaiting us, and being struck by the wonderful and awesome responsibility before us, you may have asked yourself, as I have: “Can I contribute anything, when the task is so vast? I, who am so puny?”
Open, then, the Gospel and contemplate how Jesus cures the man born blind: with mud made from the dust of the earth and saliva. This is the medicine that brings light to those blind eyes!
That is what you and I are. Though fully aware of our weaknesses and our worthlessness, with the grace of God and our good will, we can be medicine that gives light, that provides strength to others and to ourselves. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 370)
* An apostolic soul said: “Jesus, take care of it all; you know what needs to be done.... I am not working for myself.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 371)
* You insist on doing things your own way, and so your work is barren.
Obey; be docile. Each cog in a machine must be put in its place. If not, the machine stops, or its parts get damaged. It will surely not produce anything, or if it does, then very little. In the same way, a man or a woman outside his or her proper field of action will be more of a hindrance than an instrument of apostolate. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 666)
* When you really trample on your own self and live for others, you will become a good instrument in God’s hands.
He called –and is calling– his disciples, commanding them ut eatis! –”Go and seek all men.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 915)
* Three important things that help draw people to God:
- To forget about yourself, and think only of the glory of your Father God;
- To subject your will filially to the Will of Heaven, as Jesus Christ taught you;
- To follow with docility the lights of the Holy Spirit. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 793)
* Jesus says: “He who hears you hears me” (Lk 10:16).
Do you still think it is your words that convince people? Don’t forget either that the Holy Spirit can carry out his plans with the most useless instrument. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 671)
* “Don’t help the Holy Spirit so much!” a friend of mine said, jokingly but sounding very scared.
I answered: I think we “help him” very little. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 120)
* The way Jesus called the first twelve could not have been simpler: “Come and follow me.” The human knowledge of those first apostles was very poor, and yet what an impact they made on those who listened to them!
This consideration should fit you like a glove; you who are always looking for excuses not to keep on with your task.
Never forget this: It is He who keeps on doing the work through each one of us. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 189)
* When you consider how many people do not take advantage of that wonderful opportunity, and let Jesus pass by, think: Where did this clear calling –so providential– that showed me my way come from?
Meditate upon this every day: An apostle always has to be another Christ, Christ himself. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 200)
* A sure way to be humble is to contemplate how, even without talents, fame, or fortune, we can be effective instruments if we go to the Holy Spirit so that he may grant us his gifts.
The apostles, though they had been taught by Jesus for three years, fled in terror from the enemies of Christ. But after Pentecost, they let themselves be flogged and imprisoned, and ended up giving their lives in witness to their faith. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 283)
* Although you don’t amount to much, God has made use of you, and he continues to make use of you to perform fruitful works for his glory.
Don’t put on airs. Think what an instrument of iron or steel would say about itself, when a craftsman uses it to set golden jewelry with precious stones? (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 285)
* What is of more value, a pound weight of gold or a pound of copper?... And yet in many cases, copper is more useful and better than gold. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 286)
* Your vocation –God’s calling– is to direct, to draw others, to serve, to lead. If through a false or ill‑conceived humility you isolate yourself, all huddled up in a corner, you are failing in your duty of being a divine instrument. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 287)
* When the Lord makes use of you to pour his grace into souls, remember that you are only the wrapping round the gift, the paper that is torn up and thrown away. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 288)
* It is true that some who become enthusiastic leave later on. Don’t worry: They are the needle God makes use of to draw the thread through the cloth.
Oh, and pray for them, because perhaps one can manage to get them to keep giving an impetus to others. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 348)
* When you are preparing for a work of apostolate, make your own these words of a man who was seeking God: “Today I start to preach a retreat for priests. Would that all of us draw profit from it –but, first of all, myself!”
And later: “I have been on this retreat for several days now. There are a hundred and twenty on it. I am sure that our Lord will do good work in our souls.” (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 662)
* In their apostolate, the children of God have to be like those great lighting systems that fill the world with light, even if the lamp is not seen. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 670)
* Dear Jesus, if I am to be an apostle, you will have to make me very humble.
Everything the sun touches is bathed in light. Lord, fill me with your clarity, make me share in your divinity so that I may identify my will with your adorable Will and become the instrument you wish me to be. Give me the madness of humiliation you underwent, which led you to be born poor, to work in obscurity, to the shame of dying sewn with nails to a piece of wood, to your self‑effacement in the Blessed Sacrament.
May I know myself; may I know myself and know you. I will then never lose sight of my nothingness. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 273)
Fraternal Correction
We work surrounded by human beings with defects and failings. Yet we must not be scandalized by anything, or be discouraged by other people’s shortcomings –for we also have defects. Humility leads us to understand, to forgive, and, if opportune, to help with fraternal correction.
* If a brother commits some fault that needs correction, he should be corrected. This must be done with charity and humility; the medicine applied to a sick person –perhaps with just a slight fever– should not cause in him a worse disease: blindness. (Cassian, Institutiones, 8, 5)
* The Lord did not prohibit us from denouncing and correcting the faults of others; he merely forbade us to minimize and forget our own sins when correcting those of our neighbor. Thus, we should first examine our own defects carefully; then, we may correct those of the others. (St John Chrysostom, Catena Aurea, 1, p. 421)
* Fraternal correction results in improvement for the humble, but becomes intolerable for the proud. (St Cyril, Catena Aurea, 6, p. 52)
* When you have to make a fraternal correction, do it with great kindness –with charity– in what you say and in the way you say it, for at that moment you are God’s instrument. (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 147)
* A friend of yours, loyally and charitably, points out to you, on his own, certain things that tend to mar your behavior. You are convinced that he is mistaken; that he does not understand you. If that false conviction –born of your pride– remains, you will never change.
I pity you; you lack the determination to seek holiness. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 707)
* What harm can it do, other people knowing about your weaknesses and correcting you? Often it’s the best possible thing for you; it helps to keep you humble. (Imitation of Christ, II, 2, 1)
CONSIDERING ONESELF INFERIOR
Humility is based on reverence toward God; through that reverence we submit ourselves to those in authority. Humility demands our subjection to God directly, and our subjection to authority only on account of God.
“In humility, esteem the other person better than yourself” (Phil 2:3). By judging ourselves severely, and others leniently, we learn to consider ourselves inferior to others.
* We find it hard to be humble if we are conscious of the possession of any gifts; we have an incurable tendency to identify them with ourselves and rob God of his title to them. We shall learn to hold our gifts without harm to ourselves if we come to look upon them objectively, if I might be permitted to use the term.
What is the meaning of this? To hold our gifts objectively is to hold them as something independent of ourselves; to regard them with the same esteem in others as in ourselves. If gifts arouse in us the same emotions when seen in others as when they are in our own possession, then we have a correct attitude toward them.
Humility demands our subjection to God directly, and our subjection to man only on account of God. Loss of dignity would be involved in submitting ourselves to man as such, by reason of his qualities, personality, or our own weakness. This would be servility. Nothing is so opposed to servility as humility, and nothing is so protective of dignity.
Humility is based on reverence toward God, and it is through that sense of reverence that we submit ourselves to what is divine, whether in persons or in the order of things around us. Our attitude of respect and submission is dictated by our sense of the presence of God in men and things. Thus, we maintain our independence of men and owe subjection only to God; this is perfect freedom and true dignity.
Our obedience will be faithful, prompt and joyous, without trace of servility, if we look at the authority exercised by superiors as being exercised for God and coming from him; if we execute their directives influenced by this consideration solely. The superior who looks at his authority in the same way can be firm in demanding unquestioning submission, without lacking humility.
We can and should always be dignified, through awareness of the divine in ourselves, realizing that nothing from outside can harm or impair our dignity as children of God. On the contrary, all unjust ill treatment serves to enhance this dignity, for it develops the divine in us. Hence, if we are really humble, cherishing only what is of God, and not treasuring what is of self, we can never be humiliated. Our Lord suffered untold humiliations but never felt humiliated; in the midst of all he endured, he maintained his divine calm, dignity, and majesty.#2
* You say that he is full of defects. Very well ... but, apart from the fact that people who are perfect are found only in heaven, you too have defects, yet others put up with you and, what is more, hold you in esteem. That is because they love you with the love Jesus Christ had for his own, and they had a fair number of shortcomings.
Learn from this. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 758)
* It is very helpful, for keeping ourselves in greater humility, that others know and correct our defects.
When a man humbles himself because of his defects, he sows peace around him, and easily satisfies those who are angry with him.
God protects and delivers the humble man; He listens to him; He loves and comforts him; He bestows abundant graces on him; and, after the humiliation, He raises him up to glory. God reveals His secrets to the humble, and sweetly draws and invites him to Himself.
The humble man remains in great peace in the midst of reproach, for he depends on God, and not on the world.
Do not think that you have made any progress if you don’t consider yourself inferior to all. (Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, book 2, ch. 2)
* Each one of you should consider his friends wiser and holier than himself; each one of you should be convinced that true and perfect discretion is more easily found in somebody else’s judgment than in his own. (Cassian, Collationes, 16, 11)
* The defects you see in others are perhaps your own. Si oculus tuus fuerit simplex ... ‑ If your eye is clear, the whole of the body will be lit up; whereas if the eye is diseased, the whole of the body will be in darkness.
Moreover, “how is it that you can see the speck of dust in your brother’s eye, and are not aware of the beam that is in your own?”
Examine yourself. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 328)
“I acknowledge my transgression,” says David (Ps 51:3; cf. 2 Sam 12:13). If I admit my fault, then you, Lord, will pardon it.
Let us never assume that if we live good lives we will be without sin; our lives should be praised only when we continue to beg for pardon. But men are hopeless creatures, and the less they concentrate on their own sins, the more interested they become in the sins of others. They seek to criticize, not to correct. Unable to excuse themselves, they are ready to accuse others. This was not the way that David showed us how to pray and make amends to God, when he said: “I acknowledge my transgression, and my sin is ever before me.” He did not concentrate on others’ sins; he turned his thoughts upon himself. He did not merely stroke the surface, but he plunged inside and went deep down within himself, and therefore was not arrogant in asking to be spared. (St Augustine, Sermon, 19)
* Claim nothing for yourself, think of others kindly and with admiration; that is the height of wisdom and perfection. Never think of yourself better than the next man, however glaring his faults, however grievous his offenses; you are in good dispositions now, but how will they last? Tell yourself, “We are frail, all of us, but none so frail as I.” (Imitation of Christ, 1, 2, 4)
* Sisters, be very careful about your thoughts, especially if they have to do with precedence. May God, by his Passion, keep us from expressing, or dwelling upon, such thoughts as these: “But I am her senior [in the Order];” “But I am older;” “But I have worked harder;” “But that other sister is being better treated than I am.” If these thoughts come, you must quickly reject them. If you dwell on them, or introduce them into your conversation, they will create havoc in your souls, like the worst plague. (St Teresa, The Way of Perfection, 12, 4)
* If you receive some insults, bear them patiently; this will help you to increase your love for the person despising you. This is the acid test for knowing if a person is humble and holy. He might work miracles, but if he feels disgusted, he is like a reed swaying in the breeze.
Father B. Alvarez used to say that the time of humiliations is the time to acquire treasures. You will gain more by bearing an insult peacefully than by ten days fasting with bread and water.
The humiliations we inflict upon ourselves in front of others are good; to accept the humiliations we did not expect from others is better; here, there is less of ourselves and more of God–thus, greater profit if we endure them.
What sort of Christian is one incapable of enduring contempt for love of God? How much scorn has Jesus suffered for us: slaps, mockeries, scourges, spittle on his face. If we really love Jesus Christ, we will not feel indignant about humiliations, but will rejoice over them, seeing ourselves despised as Jesus was. (St Alphonsus de Liguori, Spiritual Works)
* Having a position of high authority, you would be imprudent to interpret the silence of those who listen to you as a sign of acquiescence. Ask yourself whether you allow them to make suggestions, or whether you take offense if they actually let you know what they think. You must change your ways. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 919)
* Make sure that your good intentions are always accompanied by humility. For good intentions often go together with harsh judgments, almost amounting to an incapacity to yield, and a certain personal, national, or sectarian pride. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 722)
* You make such a mess of your own life; how can you be surprised if other people are not angels? (J. Escrivá, The Forge, n. 844)
* Jesus, may I be the last in everything ... and the first in Love. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 430)
* If you have so many defects, why are you surprised to find defects in others? (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 446)
* Those who enjoy privilege –thanks to money, ancestry, rank, position, or intelligence– and abuse it by humiliating those who are less fortunate show that they are fatuous and proud. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 702)
* You comment and criticize. Without you, it seems, nothing is done properly.
Don’t be angry if I tell you that you are behaving like an arrogant despot. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 706)
* For as long as you are convinced that others should always live as if they depended on you, and for as long as you delay the decision to serve –to hide yourself and disappear from view– your dealings with your brothers, colleagues, and friends will be a constant source of disappointment, ill humor, and pride. (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 712)
* Anyone who has a task of government should bear in mind that humility is his best exercise. A physician in charge of several wounded is there to cure them all, without discrimination; his position should not make him domineering. Likewise, one in charge of curing the souls of his brothers is there to serve them; he must discharge his assignment in earnest, because he will have to give an account of each of his brothers. Thus, the greatest should become like the lowest. (St Basil, Catena Aurea, 6, p. 444)
* If your imagination bubbles over with thoughts about yourself; if it creates fanciful situations and circumstances that would not normally find a place in your way; then these will foolishly distract you; they will dampen your ardor and separate you from the presence of God. This is vanity.
If your imagination revolves around others, you will easily fall into the defect of passing judgment, when this is not your responsibility; you will interpret their behavior not at all objectively but in a mean way. This is rash judgment.
If your imagination concerns itself with your own talents and ways of speaking, or with the general admiration that you inspire in others, then you will be in danger of losing your rectitude of intention, and of providing fodder for your pride.
Generally, letting your imagination loose is a waste of time, and, if it is not controlled, it opens the door to a host of voluntary temptations.
Do not leave off the practice of interior mortification for even a single day! (J. Escrivá, Furrow, n. 135)
* For all your learning, all your fame, all your eloquence and power, if you’re not humble, you’re worth nothing. Cut out that ego that dominates you so completely –root it out. God will help you. And then you’ll be able to begin to work for Christ in the lowest place in his army of apostles. (J. Escrivá, The Way, n. 602)
* I suffered when I detected their good opinion of me; for I knew myself too well. (St Teresa, Life, 7, 1)